Frustration and Christmas Secrets

I worked on a project for about two hours this afternoon that I thought would be cool. Then hit the wrong key and lost all that work. Well I got back from taking care of some details with Betty and getting her some groceries (wow the store was FULL!) and tried staring all over again. I had spent about three hours really working on the project and really got it done nicely this time -- spent a lot of time getting it really well done, and you guessed it -- the computer dumped the files and didn't write them to the CD. So I've officially abandoned making a personalized set of calendars for family. I'm not putting more time into it.

Betty is doing moderately well. She at least gotten dressed for her last two doc appointments. She's still staying conscientiously on her oxygen all the time. Now that her brain is about suffocated, she realizes how important the oxygen is! She has to go Friday for bloodwork and a chest x-ray and then Monday she sees the docs again. As might be expected of someone her age (almost 78) she's recovering slowly. I don't know why they sent her home so quickly from the hospital! I do know though that her doc knows how fragile she is, and doesn't want her in the hospital around all the germs there, so I'm guessing that is why they sent her home in such fragile shape. Anyway, she's perking up slowly. She's smoking more, and that's always a good indicator of how she feels. She still has pneumonia though. It's slowly clearing. But she's bouncing back yet again. She's an amazing woman!

I've told her what she's doing for Christmas several times now, but her caregiver says that she frets about it during the time Peggy's there, because she doesn't see the gifts and she wants to be sure she's taking care of Christmas for everyone. So I went over things with her again tonight. She seems genuinely appreciative of what has been done on her behalf, and she seems to be looking forward to seeing the gifts opened, but I don't think she has a clue what some of the things are.

Tomorrow Jenn and I are working on a special project for her. Sort of a memory item with pix of family throughout the years that she can have at-hand. I hope they aren't sad for her. The last time she talked about her son and husband with me she was calm about it, seemingly. It was alarming though that the day she checked into the hospital she asked Jenn, "Sid is dead, isn't he?" So, she's losing more threads of continuity. How sad to not be sure if your son is alive or dead -- and to find out over again that he has moved on to larger life. She seemed to find some comfort from the fact that her husband and son had one another in the next life. She seems happy most days. She was perky tonight and wanted me to stay longer, but the house was smoky and about 100 degrees. She REALLY likes it warm these days!

I hope you and those you love are warm and well this night.