Saturday, November 17, 2007

Seeds of Goodness and Light

As much as I like to think of the cancer as Elvira and seek to kill her and eradicate all of her and her kind from me, I need to find balance. It is not enough to get rid of the dark, it is important to also invite the light to come in. I think some of my crazy ideas about "bathing" in the light of the moon, probably come from some kind of innate understanding of that idea. But I haven't yet discovered how to invite the light in, or how to balance the light with the vision to eradicate the dark.

It's not really a vision about light and dark, but healing and death of disease. Some say it's within my power to kill my own cancer with intentional, mindful effort. I don't know if that is true, but I have an open mind to it. I haven't yet worked out how to invite healing inside me. I'm halfway through the chemotherapy, and coming up to treatment #4. At this point I need to figure out how to invite the healing in and get on with that.

Sound too weird? Well, it just is what it is. Some would say that this is the place where I need to put my energy into faith. I think it is a piece of where I will find healing, but it's not everything. Some comes from yoga. Some comes from pottery. And there will be other ways I find to let in the light and healing. I just haven't discovered what they are yet.

Sacrilege? Truth? Something in-between? It's just where I am. Like the card above talks about, it's about seeking balance.

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