Friday, November 16, 2007

Can't Seem to Get It Through My Head

I went to yoga today. It really challeneged me and worked muscles that haven't be stretched in those directions -- possibly ever. It's pretty amazing to see these women do poses that look like they were designed by a catortionist. They are all proportional and lean, so my fat belly and fat thighs get in the way of even attempting some of the poses. But I try to approximate as best as I can. I haven't been sore yet, but I can feel my abdominal muscles complaining now, so I'm betting I will be sore tomorrow. It's good for me to challenge myself though.

I used the little cart at the grocery store to shop afterward. This is my perky week and two things didn't seem like such a stretch. But the rubber legs caught up with me at home, and for the first time I pushed to the point that the rubber legs gave way. Not a good thing. I rested for a while. Then I brought in the cold stuff. Then loaded up the crock pot, and then I took a nap. It helped but I'm still feeling very puny.

Back still hurts.

I feel sleepy, even though I took a nap.

I find myself wondering how long it will take me to regain my strength once I am done with chemo? The whole rubber legs thing and extreme exhaustion make me wonder, how will I manage going back to work?

I feel very blessed to have the resources that I have and I'm so grateful for the aggressive treatment that I'm receiving, but for this to be my perky week, I'm still feeling pretty puny. I have to wonder if I'll continue to get more puny for #4, #5 and #6? I just have to go with the flow. Whatever happens is what happens and I will deal with it.

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