Thursday, February 28, 2008


Going at 6am tomorrow to let the doc poke some holes in me and get the fluid build-up out. I can hardly wait.

I'm 7 weeks out from chemo. I'm 4 weeks out from major surgery and general anesthesia. I want to be ME. I want to feel like ME. I want to have energy again. I want my life to get bigger because I can do more. I'm frustrated because my life is still small because I can't do much before I have to go home and take a nap.

This too shall pass, but I want it to pass now. Right now. And I don't want to have to wear the chest binder anymore either. It hurts and makes me feel like I'm going to suffocate, but if I don't I'll build up fluid again -- and I don't want to force Jenn to drive 130 miles round trip for the doc to poke holes in me again, so I have the suffocating, uncomfortable binder to look forward to as soon as they drain off the fluid tomorrow. Oh joy!


Susan said...

You are always so positive, it is okay to be depressed some time! Hopefully you will feel much better after getting the fluid out, and can enjoy a good weekend. Like you said, this too will pass. Focus on the perks of this trip - I bet you get to go out to eat! Thinking of you, hope you have a good day.

Allen said...

I was told by a preacher friend years (decades) ago something that I have taken to heart. The best words in the bible are:

And it came to pass.

So yes it will pass.