The Scary Part is Coming

I talked to the scheduling person at the surgeon's office, and I get my last ultrasound of the tumor, and a consult on Thursday of next week. She'll show me where she will cut, and we'll discuss expectations. I'm hoping for something smooth like this. Of course, I'll have some rolls of fat this person doesn't have, but I like the smooth way that the surgery has been accomplished.



No plastic surgeon in their right mind puts their less than perfect work on the web, so finding a picture of what I'm afraid I'll get, has been difficult. But, I'd say, this would be the fear.


The little circle on her upper right side is her port, and they're removing mine when they do the mastectomies. No need for any extra anesthesia or seperate procedures by taking out the port at the same time. Some women opt to get a tattoo over their old port placement. That's something that I'll have to think about a different day.

Fat people don't heal as well as well-proportioned folks, so I already know that I'm likely to have healing issues. I was astonished to find that one of the ladies at my support group was on the operating room table for five hours for her bilateral mastectomies. That's a tough gig for a fat, old girl like me, is my guess.

I don't want to have a negative attitude, but I do think it's important to be realistic about what can be accomplished. I don't want to get myself prepared to have smooth, and get wrinkled and puckered. I also know I have little to no control over what happens so I need to be accepting. Most surgeons talk about leaving dog ears and pie dough (really) that can be "revised" later. I'm not wild about the idea of "revision." I'm much more into getting it "right" the first time.

I have to trust that I've picked the right surgeon, and that she will do her best, and that her best will be something I can live with, and that I get to live with her work for a long time.

I think I have thrush in my mouth. I'm not sure. But I sure do have a sore tongue that is "coated." I've actually never seen thrush in an adult though, so I'm not sure in the least. Maybe I burned my tongue on something. Hard to know.

Had an x-ray this morning to see if we can figure out what's causing my persistent cough. Probably had my last massage before my surgery today too. It'll be a while before I can lay on my tummy!

I'm expecting the scheduler to call from the surgeon's office in the next short while and let me know a tentative date for the surgery. I'm not very good at being stoic at this point. I'm chicken. It's gonna hurt!