Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I'm lucky. So far I don't hurt. I don't yet feel sick. I do feel overwhelmed with very, very technical information. I get to select what treatment I want, but it means sorting through incredible medical jargon, and very heavy pro 's and con's with implications I'm not sure I completely understand. I think I'm selecting the course of action that will give me the best chance for survival, but it's tough to be in charge of something that is so daunting in terminology, scientific variables, and a certain amount of emotionalism. Two friends called me for different, and yet the same reason last night. Each one was a balm for my battered soul. They were angels who held me up. I try not to look or sound scared, but I am. I try not to be pessimistic, but jeeezzzzz there has not been a lot of good news in this learning process. Everyone right now that has spent just a moment saying something uplifting or sending me an encouraging e-mail, or calling me is an angel sent by the grace of god right now. I know you'll be even more important later as the treatments make me genuinely feel bad, maybe even look bad, and probably isolate me. So, if you ever feel like you'd like to be a part of the angelic band, and have invisible wings for a little bit, know that it's really possible to be one on this earth, in the here-and-now.

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