Higher Ground

Complaint Department

2009-06-27T20:46:00.003-05:00

I've heard from some that I need to keep writing. I'm not sure why as I think I live a very dull life now.

I've gotten a few weeks of rest now and that has helped me to feel a little more sane. The last few weeks of school were just nutso. I just operated out of some kind of obligation and don't have any idea where I got the energy from to manage those last weeks.

I just heard that my dear friend in Richmond, is in the hospital after a fall today. She has a "minor" hip fracture. That's an oxymoron like "Gigantic Shrimp." "Minor Hip Fracture." Nope, that's an oxymoron. I hope to hear what's up with her tomorrow. I hope it's so minor they don't have to operate. If you're a praying person, please remember Lucille and her family and physicians.

Tonight I was reflecting back on my days as a Mental Health Provider on a homicide / suicide hotline. I was remembering this guy that called in and said, "If you want to tell something to God, tell me and I'll relay the message because I'm blowing myself up at Midnight." Now, I don't know about you, but for me those words made my heart skip a beat. This was way, way back in the day when caller ID was just coming out and we didn't have it. In order to get a trace on a call, took about 15 minutes that I had to keep the person on the line.

He explained that he was a munitions worker in Vietnam and that he had all the ingredients for Napalm and was planning to blow up his house. Now, I'd grown up watching the nightly news and seen what Napalm could do. Do you know, off hand, what the ingredients are? I sure didn't. I figured worst case scenario he could have gasoline, and that wasn't a highly controlled substance. So, I had to believe him. Now blowing up a city block ... that also got my attention, and it was about two hours until Midnight.

With five incoming lines, I walked to another desk, called the hotline myself, and when the phone rang I asked Mr. Napalm if I could put him on HOLD. Being the polite homicidal maniac that he was, he allowed me to put him on HOLD. Whereupon, I immediately called the operator, asked for a supervisor, and informed her I had a homicidal person on X phone line and was requesting an emergency trace. Naaaah, that didn't take long.

Thankfully when I went back to line X, he was patiently holding. I now had two phones with two different people talking to me: one phone applied to each ear. This was going to be a LONG night.

So the phone company traced the call, and then transferred me over to the police who were using me to funnel information to them from the caller. They'd ask me questions like, "Can an officer come to the door?" I'd then turn around and ask my caller, "So look, I'm thinking this isn't the greatest plan you've ever had. So, what about surrendering to the police?" His reply back to me was, "If someone comes up to my house the whole thing will blow. I have booby traps all over the yard and house." So, then I'd repeat what he just said, "So the yard and porch are covered with booby traps." And the caller would feel affirmed that I was listening, and the police would get the information on the other line.

What made me think of this experience today was watching a hospital show where a guy was clearly nuts. You see, at the time I'm talking to this guy, I don't know he's nuts. I think he is homicidal and has the stuff to make a bomb and blow a city block to kingdom come. I've often thought of him because he and the police frightened me so much that night.

After an hour or so of phone and verbal juggling, the police asked me to get him to show where he was in the house by turning on a light. I worked a "No." into my conversation. They were incredulous, and asked me again to get him to turn on a light to show where he was. I worked another "No" into the conversation. The police officer asked me, "Are you saying 'No" you won't get him to turn on a light and show us his position?" I worked a "Yes" into the conversation.

I couldn't be directly responsible for his death, and I had visions of a sniper trying to get a "bead" on him. I couldn't be on the phone with this man and hear him get shot. I just couldn't do that.

After about another 45 minutes of wrangling with him, we'd found out more information about him. The police tracked down his parents and he'd been thrown out of the Army as unfit for service (because he was nuts) and he had no knowledge of how to make munitions. (Big sigh.) I'd also talked enough to him to find out he'd been in jail before and was scared of men. So THE only female officer on duty that night in a rather small, rural county got her to drop writing a ticket to some schmuck on the highway, and she went over to, what by then was, a BIG deal. By now the police had blocked off his whole neighborhood. The bomb squad was there, and pretty much every officer in the entire county. I'm still talking to two people on two different phone lines.

I got to listen as the female officer carefully came to the door and knocked. Loudly knocked, I might add. I encouraged him to open the door and let the female officer (I promise) in to arrest him. I got to hear as he was taken down, as the phone went klunking across the floor, and finally as an officer picked up the phone line and said they had things under control now. And he was alive. Sick. But alive.

That is probably one of the most scary times I've ever had in my life. With five incoming lines, there were calls I ignored. Were any of those calls people who were genuinely suicidal in that moment? Whatever happened to that poor guy? Was he taken to a hospital where he belonged or was he charged with something like a "false police report" and sent to jail? Or both?

I talked and trigaged lots and lots of calls over the three years I worked on that job, but this was one of two really memorable calls. I have since talked to officers that were in the field that night and remember that call, from the police side of things, and yes -- there was a sniper there. For a woman that follows the "rules" and does what the nice officer instructs, it was also scary to me to defy the instructions of the officer who was attempting me to get the caller to turn on the lights. It was frightening to me to think I might be listening on the phone when some guy got his brains blown out. It was two hours of terror. At least one of those hours, I was fearing for the lives of many. The other hour (it was about 11:45 by the time all this ended -- I didn't get my message through to God via this guy) I was terrified for one man's life. I don't think I can ever forget those two hours.

But you know, when a kid shows me a tiny dab of blood and begs to go to the nurse, "It's an EMERGENCY!!!" I can't help but think, "You have no idea how NOT an emergency this is."

It's been 18 years since that event. The mentally ill don't live as long as the rest of folks. If I was a betting person, my bet would be that he's no longer with us in this life. I hope in the next life, if there is one, that he is relieved of his illness and the chaos it brings into his life.

Yup, an EMERGENCY is definitely not defined as a drop of blood or a scratch or a blister or a bloody nose. You have to think really big to get my attention and have ME call it an emergency.

Inertia

2009-05-26T21:36:00.002-05:00

I realized when I went to the police today that this phone harassment has been going on for THREE years! What a dork I am for putting up with this for so long! A police officer likely went to see him today though, and I'm hoping that will take care of things.

Breast Cancer Survivor Support Group tonight. Almost didn't make it because I dozed off after next-to-no sleep last night.

Two more work days, and I'm outta there!

On June 13th I'm going to take a Science exam to see if I can qualify to teach Science. History teachers are a dime a dozen, but Science teachers are harder to come by. I'm also signed up to get an endorsement for teaching gifted. I'm trying to make myself as indispensable as possible. I'll surely end up with some weird sets of qualifications. The gifted endorsement is a given. The Science ... that'll be harder. If I don't pass it this time, I'm going to surrender.

A meeting tomorrow, another on Thursday and pack up my room and I'm done. I also get to meet my soon-to-be foster "child's" judge on Thursday for the first time. The judicial system keeps a close eye on foster kids these days, which I think is good! I have three more big homework assignments to turn in to DFCS and then my application will be complete. Those homeworks will get tackled next week.

Update

2009-05-25T23:10:00.002-05:00

Well I've been trying to rush to the end of the school year without faltering. I think I made it to the end without the kids without fainting or just not being able to get up one morning. I have three more days and a few meetings to do, and I am pretty sure I can get through them.

I recorded it, and have saved it back for a couple weeks until I felt emotionally strong enough to handle watching "Farrah's Story." I watched it tonight (Memorial Day) and I am very blessed. She was diagnosed with stage IV at her first diagnosis. I am blessed to have been diagnosed with probably stage II.

It was frightful to see how much suffering she has gone through in order to try and continue living. Clearly the time has come where treatment is no longer worth the hassle. Interestingly, my motto, was expressed similarly by her, but is summed up as "All days on this side of the dirt are good." As a movie star she said it more nicely.

It's nice to have the financial where-with-all to go anywhere in the world to get treatments. I'll have to make do with American treatments, all of which are FDA approved and therefore 10 years behind the rest of the world. With luck, I'll never have to find out what comes after what I've already had. Cancer doesn't care who you are or what kind of money you have, or how beautiful you might be/have been. It doesn't let you keep your dignity, your hair, or all your parts. Suddenly things you thought you'd take to your gave, precede you in death, and you hope you're not going to be right behind them.

I've always hoped that I'd never be able to say, "What was that?" and just wake up dead. No big transitional thing... but I think cancer probably robs you of that kind of opportunity. My grandma went a pretty awful way. It took her 10 awful, horrendous days to die. Farrah has managed to drag it out for two years and to have some nice times in-between the awful stuff. Ultimately though, her thoughts and feelings are those of lots and lots of those afflicted with cancer and those who hope they have overcome it.

I hope she can just take lots and lots of morphine and surrender. It can be a gentle slide, I think. It appears she's still struggling to stay on this side of the veil. Doesn't seem like she is likely to have many more days with us though. In one hour's time, 5 people will die of some kind of cancer, and in that same hour 30 more people will hear the words, "You have cancer." At least I think that is what Oprah quoted.

Just as I've been stuck by lightning and lived to tell about it, I hope to be able to live a long time to tell the story of being struck by cancer and surviving it. I bought a lotto ticket tonight, but I'd rather live the "life" lotto. So would Farrah.

And as I write this bit of emotional stuff, a student that has repeatedly called me and called me and called me -- before I got sick, while I was in treatment and then.....a pause and some quiet. I sat behind him at graduation on Friday night, and was surprised to feel so much bile inside me against him. I know who it is. I can't prove it. I can't do anything but change my cell number to stop it. I thought at graduation, "He's maturing and growing up and maybe isn't so bad anymore." But tonight as the phone rings and he "stalks" me with his adolescent pranks, I know that he is really, through-and-through, just a plain old asshole. I've never "encouraged" him by responding back. I've always just hung up. Tonight I told him where I thought he'd reside upon his release from this life. While I pray for compassion for myself, there is a great part of me that hopes his Karma kicks his ass!

Gizzard

2009-05-06T21:14:00.002-05:00

Well, I went through the colonoscopy and they kept me asleep and the results are all good. THAT is a good thing.

Slept most of the afternoon. Have to grade some papers and do an IEP and stay late to do two IEPs tomorrow. Just a little pressure. Back to the grind tomorrow.

Relieved to have this over with. Very relieved.

Enjoying some goofy games on Face Book.

Now it's a race to get through Tomorrow and Friday and then Saturday I'm cleaning and going to a baby shower. I'm actually looking forward to the shower. Something fun about the positive expectations. Babies make everyone smile.

Hor de Ourves

2009-05-04T22:10:00.002-05:00

Or however you spell it. I've been putting out sunflower seeds and I've been getting birds. Thelma the co-owned cat is also getting birds. I saw her Sunday hiding in the really high pansey's, unmoving, just wating for birds to come get seed. So I took the pansey's up today so she can't hide in the foliage quite as easily. I don't like the idea of serving her up hor de ourves avian style.

Off from work for two days to get some testing done. Not really excited about it because I've had adverse issues in the past with this test.

Will try to use tomorrow to grade papers, do some other paperwork, and maybe clear off the dining room table. That presumes I can. Not sure I'll feel all that great.

More rain coming our way. You can practically watch the grass grow right now. My birdhouse gourd plants are growing while I watch them. Everything is just soaking wet.

My next door neighbor was encouraging his dog to attack Thelma the co-owned cat tonight. His dog has been a huge annoyance here at the townhomes. I have heard rumors that they are moving. I hope so because their lack of respect for living things, is really getting to me. I feel sorry for their dog, but am getting pretty fed up with it annoying me and the rest of the neighbors.

God, I hope my students are relatively decent tomorrow and Wednesday to those taking the class. I don't expect they will be, but I can hope. There are 13 more days of school, and the students already thing they are on summer break and they are being very uncooperative. Very rowdy and very uncooperative.

Spring Fever

2009-04-30T22:20:00.002-05:00

Boy the students have it. I have it. They're cranky. I'm getting cranky from the way they're acting. 1100 vs. 100 for the next couple weeks makes a bad ratio when the 1100 seem ready to take over like Santa Anna at the Alamo. I'm feeling like I'm being run over on a daily basis. Can't wait for FRIDAY tomorrow. I bet they'll be restless as roaches on a warming fry pan.

Enquiring Minds Want to Know

2009-04-26T20:10:00.002-05:00

What was the FUNNIEST part of your journey?

OK, so I've flown into NYC with plans. Things I want to see and do -- and it's raining cats and dogs. A real frog-strangler of a rain. What the heck is Plan B? What IS plan B? WHAT is plan B? Well I went to the Museum of Natural history which I had not visited since 5th grade field trip. Guess what? That was plan B for most of NYC. It was shoulder-to-shoulder with people. It was OK, but I finally made my way to JFK airport and was sitting down reading. I'm just sitting there when this WEIRD lady comes over to me and says, "I've prayed about it. I asked God who I should talk to to, and I decided it was you." Now, I don't know about you, but THIS is not a good way for a conversation to start! So she asked me, "I missed my flight to Dublin. I'm wondering if you know how to get from Shannon to Dublin?" Well, in actuality, nerdy-girl here HAS thought out how to get from Shannon to Dublin. I pull out the bus schedule and explain how we have to take a bus to Limerick, and then we can catch a train in Limerick for Dublin. So she has somehow asked the right person all the right questions and gotten the answers she needed. I'm not thinking I'm God's answer to her prayer or anything, but it did work out for her. So....I tell her, "It's very possible for you to get to Dublin on your timeline, if you like just follow me. I'm going there."

Well it turns out she's a flight attendant for Delta. She's going to Dublin to hook-up with a friend that has backstage tickets for her to see Tina Turner in Dublin. That's cool. Well I get to my seat (16A) and she gets to go up to first class. Nice perk of working for the airline. I'm settling in to my seat in the sardine section when I see her come down the aisle. I wave to her and she give me the "come here" finger. So I get up and move toward her (that's real easy on a plane) and she says the flight attendants have one more first class seat left and since I'm her friend they're going to let me sit up there with her (Don't tell anyone.).

So I get the nice warm wash cloth to warm and clean my hands. I get my choice of dinners (I get the prime rib and shrimp scampi). I get the nice WIDE-BODIED chairs to go with my WIDE -BODIED body! I get the nice chair with the leg rests that allow you to actually lay back and get comfy. I get all this because I was nice. I have to tell you that after dinner I took some nice Xanex and took a nice snooze and woke up over Ireland. It was GREAT! In the generous spirit of the times, I offered a little sleep to my new friend. She and I both arrived in Shannon, Republic of Ireland well rested and ready to travel at 8AM Irish time.

How bazaar though to have a strange woman come up and make me Queen for a Day (flight). That was the most weird thing that happened on this trip, full of other synchronistic events. It's a testimonial to the fact that if you're nice, good things can happen to you. This was the most "funny" (unusual) thing that happened to me on this trip.

What was the WORST part of your trip?

Well, the night that I blew into Belfast and found my Hostel, there was a soccer team staying on the same floor as me. Very little sleep while the testosterone crowd stay up drinking all night and playing loud music and being boring, loud drunks.

I go downstairs and say I want to stay another night but not close to the soccer team. They put me in a different dorm. It's one pound more a night though, is that ok? Well it's one more pound a night it turns out, because it's "en suite." The bathroom is IN the dorm, you don't have to go down the hall. Shrug, OK. Then I'm showering and getting ready for bed, when the rest of the room come back from sightseeing. Ohhhhhhhh. It's a co-ed dorm! The OLD woman with NO BOOBS is in a dorm with GUYS and girls who are all young, strong, and very in-love. Take my word for it, they're in love! They're from the Basque region of Spain and so some speak English, and some don't. Their Spanish is SO accented, that I can't for the life of me understand them. I do understand that it's three couples and each couple is very, very good friends with one another! So what the hell?! I figure I'm there to sleep. They're in their bunk bed, and I'm in mine, and I just sleep. At least the dang soccer team wasn't close by anymore! So I slept. Next morning everyone is polite and everyone averts their eyes from everyone else. The guys don't watch me; I don't watch them in their skimpy, form-fitting, Lycra briefs that have no fly (not that I was looking). I'm hoping they weren't looking when I hoisted up my store-bought "girls" and put them on. We'll never know if I scared their youthful minds forever, since I'm not good at Castillion and won't read their blog, but I'm guessing I just might be the "funniest" thing that happened to them while they were on their vacation! Just a little stomach acid. That's all, just a little stomach acid when I realized it was a co-ed dorm.

What was the most EMOTIONAL part of your trip?

One of my goals was to see if I could find the grave of my mother's sister who died in 1935. Now I don't know about you, but I think finding a graveyard in a foreign country and finding the grave of someone in particular in that foreign country, from something like 70 years or so ago -- that sounds like spitting into the wind to me. An impossible task that can't possibly be done on a whirlwind trip. Well, I have to tell you. I found the town. I found the churchyard, I found the keeper, and I found the little grave of the little girl that would never grow up to be my aunt. It was a miracle. It was the hole-in-one, miracle that I didn't truly believe would be possible. Then when I got to the grave and the keeper left me alone with her, I lay down on top of the grave. I thought of the book "The Lovely Bones" and I talked to her. I just told her about her mom and dad and sister and how I was related to her, and that I had a daughter with children of her own now. I told her the story of her family and apologized that she didn't get to be a part of our lives for so long and that I was glad I found her. I lay there for a good 30 minutes and just chatted up a dead girl that died at age 6 when my mom was 11. She lay beside the stone with the large CLARKE on it in a churchyard that had acres and acres of graves from 1700's on, and the fates allowed me to find her that day despite the fact that everyone and everyone was closed for the Easter week. Laying there and being with her was really much more emotional than anything I expected. Yet, it was the right thing to do at that time. It was my connection to the innocent past. She died of a disease that we don't know today. She died of diphtheria. She died of something that started like a cold and cough, and ended with her windpipe swelling, and swelling until that point in time that she could breathe no longer and she suffocated. What a terrible death. Now days we're all immunized against diphtheria. Thank goodness! I don't know if there is a here-after or if the dead can hear us or if we can communicate with the past in any significant way, but it was really, really emotional for me to find that grave.

What was the very BEST part of your vacation?

The BEST part of the vacation was coming home. The second best was spending one night in a B & B in Newry. The lady there was SO nice. She picked me up in town, and offered me tea. I had a nice big, light, airy room with a door. I had to go down the hall for the bathroom, but I had all the hot water I could want and I showered $45 worth of hot water! I had a comfy bed with an electric blanket on it, and I was warm and cozy. After several days of hosteling, I loved the luxury of the B & B. Catherine was so nice. Because I didn't have more than cereal for breakfast, she made me a lunch to take on the train with me. How nice! I loved having the privacy and the civility of the B & B after the emotional time I'd experienced above. Catherine was just as surprised as I that I found the grave of Anna Freida McPherson 74 years after her burial. If I ever knew her first name I didn't remember it, and it so surprised me to discover her first name since it is a name that threads it way through the decades. There is a tiny part of Anna Freida McPherson in Joann and maybe even in Julianna. I don't know if Frieda knows that her legacy moves through four more generations or not. But I'm really happy I got to stay with Catherine and her nice B & B the night after I found Freida.

Relay for Life

2009-04-24T19:54:00.004-05:00

I didn't get to do Relay last year. It's a HUGE thing with the school systems. Last year in the county, over $60,000 was raised in our teeny, tiny county. Last year I was luxuriating in some beach time, and I had the time off because I was recovering from the most nasty chemotherapy ever. I had some peach fuzz for hair. This year I'm doing much better in the hair department. It's about the length I wore it when I worked at Georgia Tech, so I don't look like a space alien to myself anymore.

The good thing about doing Relay for me is that I get to see people who are long time survivors. When you're getting treatment you're also seeing the sickest of the sick. And the sickest ones are often the terminal ones (not that we all aren't terminal -- none of us gets out of this life alive but some are clearly going faster than others of us and that who you see a lot of the time when you're in active treatment). So, anyway, it's good for me to talk to other people who are 16 and 25 year survivors. That makes me feel hopeful.

I'm really, really tired tonight. The first week back from spring break the kids are all very wound up, and the weather is breaking nice so we've all got spring fever finally. The next few weeks of school are going to be challenging -- for a whole variety of reasons. Achy and grouchy and tired now though. Looking forward to being grammy tomorrow with Miss Jewel. MUST do grocery shopping for Betty. I hear she is OUT of everything now. Time for a big haul at the grocery.

Maybe Jewel and I can grocery shop and then come home and nap afterward. We'll have to see how it goes.

Interesting how the students today who saw my pictures and heard the story of my trip to Ireland reacted. The idea of a hostel seems to totally be abhorent to my students. They'd only go somewhere first class or not at all. I'd rather go third class and get to go. I guess I'm a bit Bohemian in that respect...remnants of the flower child. European youth seem much more willing to embrace the idea of hosteling as an alternative to camping. Many American young people seem to think there's something just too weird about it -- that it's unsafe just because you're in close proximity to other people, especially other people from "strange" countries. Sounds like xenophobia to me, and a fear of anything somewhat different from American expectations.

Belfast Surprise

2009-04-19T19:32:00.003-05:00

When I left Dublin and went to Belfast, I put my things away at the Hostel and then set out to go get some pub grub. When I started out for the pub, I came upon an "Orange Parade."

Go HERE to see the Orange Parade. It's supposed to be a practice for the biggest of big Orange Parade on July 12, the anniversary of a 300 year old battle. It appears they do need a tad more practice. But it was exciting to see the event, even though it's hard for us American's to understand the political/religious issues behind these.

I do have to say that there was one scary moment where I thought a riot was going to break out, and you could fairly smell the testesterone and tension in the air. People there said I was in a safe place, others I asked later told me I was a nut case for hanging around that area at all.

So exciting moment to capture, by total accident that I was there and glad my camera had the ability to handle movies as well as photos.

In the USA

2009-04-18T19:24:00.002-05:00

I'm sleeping in my bed tonight! I've been up about 40 hours now, and in the last 10 it's become over abundant that I need a shower. I just spent about 30 minutes in the shower and I've had a protine drink and I'm catching up on my favorite shows that played while I was gone, and will soon close my eyes, hopefully, for a long time. Realistically, I'm wound pretty tight right now, but I really need to catch up some, and I need to do a hellovalot of laundry! It was good to fly into the USA today. It's GREAT to lay on MY bed tonight! Will write more after some of my neurons have gotten a little more melatonin from sleep. Adventures. Lots of adventures.

Limerick

2009-04-17T12:46:00.002-05:00

No, I'm not smart enough to make one up. But my butt is in Limerick, Ireland. I just had a couple of amazing days. Yesterday I went to Newry to see if I could find the grave of my mom's sister who died in 1935. Amazingly I did. It was very special, especially since I thought it was a task that would be like finding hen's teeth. It was easy as pie, but I'll have to write about it later as I'm at an internet cafe right now and the clock is running.

I went to Brigid's Well in Kildare today. It was so lovely with all the spring flowers blooming and special flowers put out on account of the Easter holiday. It's lovely, but COLD. It's cold like Atlanta in Febuary here.

Sat on a train most of the day today, except for the time in Kildare. I'm going to a pub (don't worry, my liver won't let me drink) and have some pub grub and then I'm going to check in REALLY early for my 11-somthing AM flight tomorrow. I'm too cheap to pay for a night in a hotel at this point. The Republic of Ireland is very expensive, but I splurged last night and spent the night in Newry at a real B & B and it was lovely. Met a very nice lady who worked her whole life as a midwife in Newry. Fascinating.

Gotta run before the clock runs out and the machine cuts me off. Having fun on the cheap but ready to make my way home. I miss all of you. ALL of you.

Ireland North and South

2009-04-16T03:51:00.002-05:00

Exhausted and working hard at having fun. Seen a lot but not as much as I'd like. It's tought work getting around on public transportation. I have to say that the trains and buses here are fabulous though.

Anything less than a 30 minute walk and they recommend that you walk it though. So I've been walking with about 50 pounds of luggage behind me. Phew. Tiring.

Have seen Dublin (tourist trap) have seen Belfast (nicer and much more friendly), and am now headed to Newry with the hope of getting a B & B tonight. Have been youth hosteling it and am not ready to sleep, sleep, sleep.

Must run only have a few minutes here for the follow of paying a guy $2 American so the fellow would let me check in. Internet access here is difficult to get if you don't have pounds and all I have is Euros. He thought dollars was a lark.

Having fun. Tired but fun.

Fly back on Sat/Sun. Love you all.

Technology Impaired

2009-04-10T21:31:00.002-05:00

OK, tonight is the last post for a week, more than likely. I'm packing like a mad woman for tomorrow's trip to NYC and then tomorrow night on to Ireland. I don't know if I'll get to an internet cafe, or if the hostel I'm staying in will have internet access, so if you see a post, I have access. If you don't, when I get back I'll NEED SLEEP and then I'll post pix.

I promise Gigi, I'm brining you and your mom a clover. Everyone else, that's exactly the kind of souvenir I can afford, so that's likely what you're getting. God bless my daughter for hauling me to the airport at 6AM! She gets yet another star in her heavenly crown.

Right now both cats are asleep on the outfit I plan to wear tomorrow. There's no escaping cat hair! It looks like some is even going to Ireland with me.

I'm excited because by the time I get back, they'll have done the criminal background check on me, they have copies of my driver's license and insurance, and the person I'm interested in fostering will probably be allowed to come spend some day visits with me. Good Lord but you should see the size and length of the questionnairs and forms I have to complete. It's more than I even thought was possible or necessary. I'm having a kid at 57! (presuming all things come together) Who'd have thought?! (Including me! I never expected to be ambushed by maternal feelings at this point in my life. Wow.

Giving Back to My Job

2009-04-08T18:19:00.002-05:00

After putting the non-contractual employees on five days of furlough, privatizing the janitorial services, turning the lights off at night (duh!) and all sorts of other money-saving schemes. the school system will still fall about $150K short. So they're asking us contractual employees to donate anything but they're hoping for five days of our time. And, we have to tell them by Friday! One of the staff figured out that if every teacher gave $483 back to the system, they won't have to lay anyone off. Obama money doesn't get here until next fiscal year. So between now and the end of school we have to figure out how to not be sick or off from school because they're not able to spring for any substitute teachers. We're lucky though. Carroll County has laid off 243 employees. So far, attrition is what they are using, and no one (other than the janitorial staff) has been terminated.

State law requires the school budget to be balanced so they have to come up with the moola. They changed the state law about contracts too this year. So they don't have to give us our contracts until May 15th. Wow, that's really pushing things to the last possible moment. Teachers are used to getting contracts by late March or early April. If you're not offered a contract, while school is still in session, you can run around and look for a different job. The new date for contract offers means that teachers won't find out until just about when school is over and won't have much time to locate other employment. This is a nerve-wracking time of the year for teachers.

I prefer to give something back than force someone to be laid off. Tough times everywhere. I'm sure that lots of other places would prefer to have their people give something back rather than have to be forced to lay off non-contractual employees. I do feel the school system is doing the best it can. I'm sorry that there will not be a summer school, or than after school tutoring will be as available, and I hate it for our janitors that they become $6.25/hour employees with no benefits and found out about it on e-mail. Very stressful at work right now.

New Shoes

2009-04-07T20:43:00.002-05:00

When you wear ugly orthopaedic shoes like I do, a new pair is a big deal. I got a black pair of Mary Janes today that are slightly less ugly than the average ugly orthopaedic shoe.

So that's the high point of my day.

Hope you and those you love are happy, healthy and have full bellies tonight.

Poem

2009-04-05T23:23:00.004-05:00

I was searching the townhouse up and down this evening looking for a really OLD scrapbook/picture album. While in the middle of the search, I found a relaly old poem that I wrote back in 1977 or 1978 or so. I think my daughter can enjoy it now while she has:

Helping Hands

Don't play with our records

Don't dial the phone;

Dismanteling the TV

For reasons unknown!

Floating your toys

Inside the commode;

Writing on walls

In your own little code.

Unpotting the plants

Was fun for awhile;

I saw you empty

Those drawers with a smile!

Life is more interesting

Since you came along;

There's never any telling

What next you'll do wrong.

But sweet little smiles

And wet "gooshey" kisses,

Make me glad I'm a Mommy,

Make me glad I'm a Mrs.

Joann Ward

The reference to records in the first stanza are not a reference to papers saved. It's a reference to those round things you put on your stereo and when the arm came down and settled in the grooves of plastic, you got to hear music.

I did find out that my Grandmother was born on October 28th, 1898 and that her name was Elizabeth Marion Clarke McPherson. That "e" on the end of her name was a big deal. I thought she didn't have the "e" but I was wrong. The "e" must be essential. There are about 5 parishes for the Church of Ireland in Newry. I'm hoping when I go there, I can figure out from the parish registers where my mother's sister is buried. She died in 1931 from dyptheria. I'd also like to see if I can go to city hall without it being a HUGE deal, and see if I can get a birth certificate for my mom (and maybe even her sister, Frieda). I honestly don't know where my grandmother was born. That might take more research than I have time for while there.

I thought Jenn would enjoy the poem though. I used to write a fair amount of poems, though I'm sure they're nothing special except they were words from my heart.

New Opportunities

2009-04-04T12:36:00.002-05:00

I'm taking classes to become a foster parent. It's a little exciting. It's a little scary. It's a little bit anxiety-provoking. But, ultimately if I didn't think it was "right" I wouldn't do it. I can't say much here. I can't post a picture. Everything is all at the very beginning stages, and anything might or might not happen.

I'm inviting a new person into my life. There is a LONG list of things I have to do from getting doctor's statements, the cats checked by the vet, and having my home inspected. And the list goes on and on and on. If it works out, it will be close to or at the end of the school year. It's possible that after I get back from Ireland that I'll be allowed to have this person visit some.

The sun is now shining, Spring is definitely in the air (including lots of pollen). I'm going to get a book, go hold down my chase lounge and take pleasure in getting some vitamin D. I also have some day lillies I need to plant. I got some pink and orange ones the other day at Home Depot. I like Tiger Lillies. It's 68 and sunny. Tomorrow the weather is supposed to get ugly. I'll enjoy what I have of today.

Sitter Downer is Tired

2009-04-03T20:58:00.003-05:00

We did an assignment on the flags of Europe today, which is to say, it was a less intense day while students learned that red and blue are very popular colors for most flags.

After school I had a meeting to attend, and my sitter downer is done! I have to be back for a follow-up meeting in the morning.

I got an electricity converter yesterday so I'd be able to charge my camera in Ireland. I'm mentally starting to pack my suitcase. And I found out that 13C is about 53. So, it's a little cooler there than here. It's going to be a busy weekend.

"Graduation"

2009-03-30T16:42:00.003-05:00

You might have noticed a few changes to the blog and its format. I decided that it's time for it to be "Welcome to the Latest News" and not the "Welcome to the Latest News of the Boobs" anymore. With any luck, I will never need it to revert back.

I'm living in faith that I'm recovering and that with the aggressiveness of my treatment, that the cancer will not return. I'll always have to be vigilant, but I have to live, not live like I'm dying. I've seen the gastroenterologist (last week) and my mysterious pain is probably due to losing and gaining back some weight between last summer and now. Not to mention that my liver was under incredible stress with steroids and poison going through it last year. So it's not sure if I've got scaring on my liver or if I have an issue with too much fat in my liver, but I really don't want to have a liver biopsy to find out! So I'm willing to live with the ambiguity and work on trying to lose weight slowly so I don't over stress my liver. As different as I eat now, compared to before treatment, I really don't understand why I'm not losing weight. It just doesn't make sense to me, but clearly I'm maintaining my weight quite well.

I have my Breast Cancer Support Group tomorrow night, and a couple other meetings this weekend, so I'm going to be a busy girl for the next few weeks. Be patient with me. I'm running as fast as I can.

3-Day Info

2009-03-29T13:25:00.002-05:00

Several people have asked about 3-Day and it's efficiency. I just got an informational report at:

http://www.the3day.org/site/DocServer/BC3D_Report_Card_for_08_series_Final.pdf?docID=341&autologin=true

The several walks in America raised a NET investment of almost $80M for breast cancer research. 3% of their budget goes to costs for running the events. That's amazing given the kinds of resources (buses, portable toilets, portable showers, and traffic control and who knows what else). 25% goes to advertising, and while I admit that seems really excessive, if it wasn't for that advertising, how would be ever get the cooperation of so many thousands of people who raised that money?

So many charities work so hard just to get a few million. The fact that mostly women, have raised nearly $80M for research just this year, is amazing. Every dollar is a dollar closer to knowing more about what causes and treats this terrible disease.

I also encourage all women healthy or effected to join the Army of Women an initiative of Dr. Susan Love. This effort is pretty amazing by getting the participation of all kinds of women for various studies, many of which don't require much effort at all from a participant. Please consider being a part of this effort.

And for those wondering why the heck I haven't been posting much lately, let me just say, Georgia High School Graduation Testing is all-absorbing! I also have some interesting developments going on in my life that I can't really post about just yet, but it's all good.

Ireland is about two weeks away, and I'm quite excited about the prospects. I spent a considerable part of today researching what to do and how, while in New York City on the 11th of April. I'm thinking very likely that I'll go visit Trinity Church in Manhattan. I'd like to visit the grave of Alexander Hamilton and some other famous folks there. This is the church that George Washington retired to after his inauguration for worship and guidance. There's a cool museum close by, Federal Hall, that I might be able to visit as well. I have about a 12 hour layover between arriving at LaGuardia and leaving from JFK. NYC scares me a just a tad, but I can do it!

I'm very uncertain about my energy levels when traveling my first big trip after treatment. I don't know how much I'll be able to do in any one day or how the jet lag will effect me. At this point, I'm planning to ZONK myself out with very legal, prescribed to ME drugs and see if I can sleep on the flight. I've never been able to do that before, but I've never thought about using major drugs to put me out before either! I'm hoping if I can genuinely rest on the flight and not sit next to the screaming baby or the woman with leg cramps that has to walk the aisle every three minutes, that I can rest some and arrive refreshed. So much more likely too, if I wear myself out in NYC!

Life is busy. Good but busy. It's hard teaching all day and trying to get things done for my one-half of my special education caseload. It's a tense time of the year for those of us doing Special Ed. It's always a RACE to see if we can actually finish the paperwork before the end of the school year. No different this year.

Reading

2009-03-24T18:54:00.005-05:00

I just finished a good book. Not a great book, but a good one. It made me want to find other books by Patrick Taylor and read them. I just finished An Irish Country Village. I was attracted to the book initially by the title, since I knew I'd be going to Ireland soon. I was really happy that it was set in Northern Ireland (part of the UK) because that's where my mom was from, and I hope to visit her little village, and maybe even find the street she lived on. But the North is different from The Republic and so I found myself "hearing" words and phrases that I found familiar. It was nostalgic for me in the sense that it evoked memories of my mom's colloquialism's that were not common to this country.

The story line is well constructed, and is reflective of real life. It's not up there with Water for Elephants or Three Cups of Tea, but it was like comfort food. Just satisfying. It's worth the $14.95 I paid for the paperback, and I don't always feel I've gotten my money's worth.

We are in South America in World Geography. I have been SPEEDING things along like crazy because we'd fallen so far behind. I'd like to spend a day doing some kind of fun, hand's-0n project though. I like to stop now and then and do something like that. I may have to run by Wally world in the early, early AM, because I'm thinking it would be fun to have the students make one of THESE. I'm sure that some students will slap something together, but others will make it a special thing and it'll be meaningful to a few. We've had to zip past the Maya and the Aztec, I'd like to spend a little time with the Inca. They're going to get to see a movie about the Inca tomorrow too. I don't show many movies, so that'll make it even more cool. Today we talked about the tidal bore that occurs on the Amazon. I think that's a very interesting phenomena, that only happens on about 100 rivers around the world. However, it's especially fantastical on the Amazon because the bore can get up to 20 mph and reach heights of 30-feet. They can go as far inland as 180 miles! It's fun sometimes to have this little known and useless knowledge to share with the students. I learned about this in Geology class back in college. It was fun to share it with the students today. Now 85 more people know about this phenomena than did before!

In the mean time, if you're looking for a satisfying read, that is the maccaroni and cheese of the book world, I recommend An Irish Country Village.

I Made a Movie!

2009-03-22T23:48:00.002-05:00

OK, I was TOLD to make a 15-minute movie of the one hour, 800-year history review. I stayed after work on Friday and managed to fumble my way through recording 16 minutes. After editing out some gaffs, it was 10 minutes. I'm happy that I managed to approximate some kind of movie to be shown while the students are eating the breakfast the morning of the Social Studies exam. It's not great, it's not fabulous, it's not 60-minutes quality, but somehow, someway I managed (with some help) to get the dang thing done. I was very intimidated by the necessity of having to make the movie. I felt WAY better about the whole thing when I found out that my tutor, and me were the only two departments to get the task accomplished.

I didn't do my shopping or lesson plans today, but I had a lovely time at the local park with family for a spontaneous picnic. The sunshine was fabulous. The kids had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. I've read half a book today (well, actually yesterday now), and should be fast asleep. The alarm will come too early. But, I enjoyed the book the sunshine and the time with loved ones very much. I'll be a responsible adult tomorrow (well, actually today). ;)

Georgia High School Graduation Test

2009-03-14T22:42:00.002-05:00

We're doing some free reviews for the GHSGT. Anything we can do to help students pass is so important to our achieving AYP. We made AYP last year by something like 1/2 a point -- the slimest of margins. So any little thing that can be done to help even one kid pass a GHSGT is important. In some ways it's kind of fun because the students actually listen to you. After talking for three straight hours, though, I had laryngitis and was really, really tired. I came home and took a nap. I'll do it again next Saturday too. Each review might mean just a point or two on someone's test so that they are a little more likely to pass the tests. Next week is all about preparing our Juniors for testing.

I will be teaching about Latin America, however. Wonder what we're going to do? I might need to think about some lesson plans soon.

Mexican Culture and Food

2009-03-13T22:07:00.002-05:00

Well I brought Burritos and made them at school. There were at least one or two students per class that either brought something like nacho chips and salsa, and at least one per period that brought something spectacular. I had some orange Mexican soda. I taught them to sing a song in Spanish. We learned about the history of the Mexican Flag, and Our Lady of Guadalupe (a mix of Aztec and Roman Catholic imagery), and I inflicted all three blocks of students with pictures of the Mayan ruins I saw on my vacation this past summer. It was total CHAOS and fun and exhausting, and I think there were some educational moments in there. Lord I don't care to do this very often, but I think it's a multi-sensory experience that excites and gets students very involved -- for the most part.

Lots of homework for me tonight as I get ready to do a review for the Georgia HS Graduation test in Social Studies tomorrow morning. Tired. Going to SLEEP.

Last Mid-term today, Food Day Tomorrow

2009-03-12T19:13:00.002-05:00

$45 BUX! I bought enough flour tortillias and refried beans and cheese to make some simple burritos, and some orange-flavored Mexican soda. Nothing fancy. I hope the students bring something too, because if they don't it's going to be a very spare Mexican food day.

I'm going to subject the poor victims to a discussion of my perceptions of Mexico, AND my vacation pictures of Mexico and the Mayan ruins. Evil. I know.

The school wanted to offer a Saturday review of material prior to the End of Course Tests and Graduation Tests. They couldn't justify hiring a teacher unless they got 15 students to say they'd come. They only had 11. I volunteered to do the reviews those two Saturdays for free. I figure I can do a reasonable job on US History and Biology. Those 11 kids need their review. We need those 11 to pass their tests. We desperately need every single passing student possible if we are to make AYP.

2 down, 1 to go

2009-03-11T19:25:00.002-05:00

Two of the mid-terms are done and tomorrow there is one left. Most did pretty good. A few somehow managed to fail, but I've thrown them a lifeline and am allowing them to take the test again.

Keeping things from getting too loud is a big challenge. It grates on me a lot the amount of chatter and background noise, but I think it's unavoidable with teens. I got a THANK YOU LETTER today from one student. Wheeeeeee!!!! One student asked me WHY did she have to do something THIS way (roll eyes, and hear a tisk)? I told her, "Because I am mean, and evil and just want to make life as difficult as pssible for you." She gasped, stopped and then just rolled her eyes again and finally just put her head down and started working.

Ahhhhh the wonderful phermones wafting through a room of 9th graders! It's just a phantasm of emotion every moment.

Scrambled Brain

2009-03-09T21:58:00.002-05:00

I'm alive and I really like that. I really shouldn't bitch about things like this, but the trap-door brain I used to have is gone. I checked 45 times; I swear I did. The dates for Spring Break were IN MY BRAIN because I looked them up so many times. Yet, somewhere in the translation, I screwed things up. I realized it with a sick feeling in my stomach today, so I went about fixing things tonight. It changes some plans I had but that is just the way it has to be to get the cheap seats now, just a month before leaving.

I have two cheap seats on Delta for the wrong days that I'm just going to have to toss into the wind. It costs more to change the tix than to just be a no-show. I can't even give them away because they're in my name. Sux. And I never say that. But it does. At least I figured it out a month before rather than a week before!

Learning new things comes a bit harder now. It's really hard to recall certain words. It's frustrating sometimes. I know a lady though, that can't drive anymore or work or even get out of her house much anymore after her chemo, so I should be grateful! I'm alive and have some brain left. I get very frustrated with myself sometimes though.

Midterms are Wednesday and Thursday. Friday is going to be a FOOD day. Kids seemed interested when I announced the multi-cultural, multi-sensory experience of having Mexican. Tomorrow I'll look for some easy crock-pot recipe's. Not a big cook here. And the crockpot doesn't set off the fire alarm. Having set it off in the past, that's a pretty good criterion for me to meet. Gonna take some decongestants and go to bed. Night all.

Sunday - - Bronchitis IV

2009-03-08T21:08:00.002-05:00

I'm getting better. Not well, but better. I've turned in next week's lesson plans, and have been resting and drinking plent of fluids. I stopped to read the news tonight and was stunned to read about the Illinois Baptist minister shot dead in his pulpit today, and also of Obama's policy shift toward Cuba.

One of the churches I used to attend had a guy with a knife run right through a service some years ago. I believe he got trapped in the Sacristy and ended up being subdued by the priest and a few police chasing him. That is scary enough, but to be shot dead in the middle of a service ... I suppose you get assumed right into heaven from there. In the Catholic faith it would be instant martyrdom, but this poor Baptist guy is just dead.

Then they are also reporting an IRA shooting of two British soldiers in Antrim, which is approximately where I'm going in April. Of course, you don't have to travel to Ireland to see troubles. It wasn't four years ago we had our own shooting at a mall just down the road. Violence is everywhere. I'll try not to wear anything camo when I'm in Ireland and I'll be fine.

I'm glad that we're going to open up some to Cuba. It's another place where Americans are liked (at least right now). Maybe I can get to go there, a destination that would make dad spin in his grave, except he's ashes so I guess the dust is jumping in there, simply saying such a thing!

My lungs are clearing and I don't wheeze quite so much after a weekend of rest and recovery. I've planned a lesson plan next Friday that includes cooking Mexican food. Since I'm not much of a cook, I'm not sure what we will have, but I'm guessing after mid-terms the students will be glad to have anything to eat and relax a bit. We'll be SPEEDING through Mexico because we have to get moving to get through the rest of the world! I believe Middle America and South America come after Mexico.

Be well everyone.

The Continuing Saga of Bronchitis

2009-03-06T21:32:00.003-05:00

It's been a very tough week getting through work. The kids in third block today needed a teacher "thrown down," because otherwise they would have been in control. Technology defeated the best laid plans for 1st and 4th block today. The tour of the US that I wanted to show, was a bit of a flop but they liked the popcorn and were happy to have some of the pressure off for a day. Monday we "go to Canada." Sometime this coming week, we have to have a mid-term. Blaugh.

The crud in my chest is loosening up a bit, and it's easier to breathe but sounds very wheezy and rattly. I've been OUT OF IT all week, and am just starting to have some awareness of what's going on around me. If I wasn't in school, I've been in bed asleep or trying to sleep. I'm turning in soon.

I hear we are due for a dose of sunshine this weekend. I'd like to get a little on my skin just to get some vitamin D and let the sun bake some of this sticky mucus out of me. I've been "out of it" for the last week, so I hope I can rejoin the human race slowly. I miss my family.

Bronchitis II

2009-03-05T20:04:00.002-05:00

OK, so today I don't feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I can breathe a little easier. I don't sound like a seal barking anymore -- more like a gravel rattling in a tin can now. My students probably don't think it's an improvement, but on my side, it sure feels better. My ribs don't hurt every time I cough now.

I've been working this week in the place of my colleague and friend Jeff, who died two weeks ago. A long-term substitute has been secured to do what I was doing, and now I'm doing what Jeff was doing. It's a regular education job that is possible because I was able to get certified in a few social studies areas some years back. The school has made it perfectly clear that I revert back to special ed as soon as this special circumstance is over. I can, of course, apply for the job if I want to, but since I'm only certified in World and US History and not in all areas of Social Studies, I probably don't stand a chance of winning the job. But at least I'll have three more months of experience than someone straight out of school or something. It's hard for me to know what the possibilities are here. Right now I'm happy to just finish the year out in Jeff's memory.

While I've been sick as a dog, rat or snake this week, I've been trying hard to handle our old classroom. It's hard on the students, and hard on me too. I'm hoping that by next week when I feel better, we can do some more fun activities. I have to feel better before I can do too much fun. I like doing hands-on things though. I wish my first week with them wasn't so overpowered by bronchitis, but one does the best one can.

Right now my best friends are Coricidin HBP and Mucinex and my bed. Tomorrow we're having World Geography movie day with popcorn. The "movie" is of course a streaming video about the geography of the United States. Next week we move on to Canada!

Bronchitis

2009-03-04T18:19:00.002-05:00

Sickies, sickies, sickies. Sleeping any moment I'm not working. Damn but I feel awful. But I think I'm getting a little, tiny, bitty bit better today than I was yesterday. Just a tiny, tiny bit. Just did the technicolor yawn so I'm not a happy girl. Ready to feel better. NOW.

Snow Predicted

2009-03-01T14:39:00.007-05:00

OK, predicting snow in the Atlanta area is like Johnny Carson playing Karnac the Magnificent. You might think you know the answer (snow) but nature may surely play a trick on you and most of the time the joke is on the forecaster.

Just a few days ago, Jenn, Jewel and I were out shopping and the purchase of a summer sun hat seemed very appropriate. Jewel models it in this pic. She was SO cute running around TJ Max in the hat, giggling while adults ran after her doing the Frankenstein run. We might not be ready for pool time just yet though.

Last week relatives in Vermont sent us pictures of their snow, which was pretty impressive I have to say. This picture, though, is of Georgia snow. It doesn't take much here to get folks excited and to bring the place to a halt. Right now I'm predicting I will work tomorrow. We'll see if that changes or not.

I have acute chronic bronchitis right now. An extra day to rest would be good. Alternatively, you can see the road is not icy (right now) so, I'd rather work tomorrow because if we're off another day, I'm sure we'll have to make it up some other day. We've already lost a day because of the tornado, and one due to really, super cold weather one day, so I don't want them taking back some of my spring break or something (especially since I've already bought tix). We'll just have to wait and see what develops. I'm ready for tomorrow -- if I go to work, or if I get to roll over.

2 - 4 inches Predicted

2009-03-01T00:03:00.000-05:00

We'll see. I'll believe it when I see it.

Oh My Gosh!

2009-02-27T19:22:00.002-05:00

I can't believe I've been able to run the marathon called this week! Today was exciting because I got the ride with a Deputy Sheriff . . . in the FRONT seat. I did a home visit that would never have accomplished my goals if it wasn't for our wonderful Resource Officer helping me out. He told me if the resident hadn't come out when she did, he'd have put on the lights and siren to get her attention. He says that works pretty well. Well, I can tell you, if he'd done that I would have jumped out of my skin! As it was, it was an adventure.

Monday I will be a World Geography teacher from then until the end of the school year. My heart is heavy because I have been pulled in to teach the classes my colleague who passed away two weeks ago can't. I am glad I will be in one place all day, but sad to have to step in for my departed friend. I am glad to have a chance to try on regular education, but feel bad for the students in the classes I've been serving for the last 9 weeks who will now have to make-do with a sub.

I'm very, very tired. A lot of stress these last several days. Weird weather coming in. The superintendent warned us of a potential wintery mix on Sunday! I have daffodils blooming, forsythia blooming, and I'm taking pleasure at looking at flower catalogs -- it's not supposed to be doing a wintery mix! I'm picking up a book, and I'm committing to being jello for the next while, unless needed for emergency Jewel-sitting. Night, night!

Back to North Atlanta

2009-02-25T20:22:00.002-05:00

In the scheme of things at the surgeon's office, the fact that you CAN wait, means you're more well. If they rush you in when appointments start at 6AM then you're more urgent or more ill. I had an 8:30 appointment this morning and was not suprised that I had to wait for my one year check up. Waiting meant that I wasn't having to wait with tubes hanging out of me, or in pain or with bad news or the need for urgent medical review. I'm happy to have the privilege to wait. I had an ultrasound of my right armpit to review the lymph nodes. What nodes I have left looked healthy. The ultrasound technician remembered me because I always asked for a picture of my tumor, and because I had named it. I asked if any other patient had named their tumor, and she told me about a lady who named her several tumors men's names. So each tumor was a "Bill," or "Fred," or "Frank." Apparently she felt strong negative feelings toward some men in her life! My tumor showed up as black on a field of static-like-lace. The white being the calcifications and microcalcifications that made reading my mammogram so hard to read. The black made me think of the old Saturday movie maven, "Elvira: Mistress of the Dark." And that is how my tumor was named. It also made it easier to imaging strangling the life out of it. I don't know if creative visualization helps, but it sure didn't hurt, and so I imagined cutting off the life flow to that tumor. And I had some time on my hands to imagine that for a while.

Today was happy. Lots of compliments for my surgeon about her skillful work. She laughed about my "dog ears." Dog ears (otherwise known as pie dough) are lumps of skin that are the tail ends of a REALLY big incision. I told her I had a great dane's ear on my right side, and a peakinese's ear on my left side. She was not upset at all that I had the great dane ear taken care of as a "scar revision." She checked bunches of things out and answered a question that I'd had for a while. I thought the numbness I was feeling in my arms was a side effect of chemo/surgery. When I described it, she said it sounded much more like a disc problem to her. Since I've never really had the time and energy to get the orthopaedic doc a chance to work on my disc issue, I am not surprised. I'm just surprised that it was the surgeon that figured out I didn't have neuropathy, but numbness caused by the dang disc issue.

I can only handle so many doc appointments at any one time, and after some successes and failures, I determined that I can really only handle one a week. Next week is the gastroenterologist to see what's going on in my gut.

I didn't mind waiting today. I was nice to see someone that has such a positive outlook, and is so smart and savvy and who is genuine and real, and who has actually healed me. I also had hair this time. She saw me for the first time with my hair down to my waist, then for months she saw me bald, and now I have just enough -- barely enough, but enough to style a bit. It's amazing how a woman's feminity is so tied to hair. Well at least is is for me. I'm glad to feel more girly as it gets a little longer. It grows very, very slowly -- yes I know 1/4-inch per month for NORMAL people. If you've had medical treatments, it grows at it's own pace. So its taken all the way since last January for me to get the three inches I have, but I'm glad of them. It just barely will go around the green small self-gripping hair rollers. I'll post a picture of us together tomorrow. It's another one where I can put last year next to this year.

The school nurse just sent a bulletin out that the flu is definitely going around. Since I got a flu shot this year, I imagine that's why I only felt like I had something dire for a couple days instead of for a week or more.

Yes, I'm glad I got to see Dr. S again and with such positive outcomes. I feel a bit like I've been "certified" for one more year. It's dizzying though when you're seeing so many doctors for different reasons. The oncologist, the surgeon, and your internist, a gastroenterologist, a gynecologist and an orthopaedist. I'm happy to be on this side of the dirt while I contemplate how much of my income goes to physicians. Thank you Dr. S. You do good work!

One Year Surgical Check-up

2009-02-24T20:45:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow before the crack of dawn, I'm leaving to go see my surgeon for my one year check-up. I really want her to know I appreciate the quality of her work-womanship. I know I had to have a revision to make things more comfortable, but let's face it, she had a canvas for her art that was about three times larger than the average. So, GOOD JOB! My surgery was done when Jewel was weeks old. Now she's over a year old.

I did not die from cholera, flu or anything else last night. I was sickies with the kind of problem that is solved with the great drug: Imodium. Today I just drank dilute juice and had some crackers and ate a coconut popsicle. I had the aching in the joints and all the other symptoms of flu or some other virus. I can't believe I worked today, but honestly I didn't feel bad.

I talked to the principal today and also our FFA and Horticulture (same guy) teacher. We're going to get some kind of tree to plant in Jeff's memory on the campus. I like the idea of something big and living and still growing to be there to honor his memory. I think he'd like that too. The SGA kids are going to be a part of the project. I've pledged a portion of the cost of a tree, and they'll add some $$ and design a ceremony for the planting. I'm pleased that will work out (at least it looks like it will).

I'm racing to the end-of-the-year deadline for paperwork already. It's very stressful and I SWORE I wouldn't let myself get all wrought up by paperwork anymore. Well.....guess what?! It's hard to not get anxious over paperwork that's 24 or more pages long and which constitute a legal document. The complexity of these things are incredible. There's also stresses which I just can't talk about. It's a very poor county. I hope some stimulus money comes the Title I way to us. The "check" is supposed to be in the mail and to reach the states tomorrow. Maybe our governor will let some of it through to the actual places it's really needed. One can hope, anyway.

Jewel and I

2009-02-21T21:59:00.002-05:00

Jewel and I hung out for a large portion of today. We made a trip to the mall where my big accomplishment was buying a couple books and eating lunch. Jewel is getting more and more independent. She doesn't want to hold hands anymore -- just wants to explore where here eyes take her. She is 14 months now and babels away sounding just like she's saying things, but there aren't many words yet. I know the day is coming when those cute babbling sounds will turn into, "Grammy I want....!"

It's weird at times when I get reminders about how far out in the country (rural) my school is. I ran over to another county facility on Friday. On the way back I stopped at a little quick mart to get a cold drink. As I was stepping out of the store I heard the unmistakable report of a gun. I looked up and there's a dude at the far end of the parking lot taking pot shots at crows with a rifle. Yup, that was a gun. Yup we're in the country.

It was nice to have a quiet day today Spent a little time tonight studying how to get about in Ireland. Anyone that's been is welcome to send ideas for places to go and things to see. Recommendations for good places (inexpensive but clean) are appreciated too. It's fun making plans for something that doesn't involve teens or "responsibility."

Made it to Friday

2009-02-20T23:33:00.002-05:00

Some weeks are longer than others. This one was a doozy.

I got a locker at school so I could tuck my books and my bag away safely while I'm wandering the halls. I really don't want a cart because they don't go between the rows of desks easily, and the bag is just more practical. My compromise is getting a locker.

The work in the main building to repair the roof damage is certainly making for a LOT of noise in the rooms under the roofers. I swear it sounds like they have jackhammers up there. The good side of the tornado that got us a while back is that we're ending up with a good many repairs that would have been maintenance issues sooner or later. So a new roof now will save money later, especially if insurance is paying for it.

Lots of folks wondering what the new administration will do to education and special education. I'm one of them. It's my hope that we can continue to challenge under achieving schools, while making more realistic goals, particularly in the area of curriculum for students with special needs. A lot of people, not just me, worry about students not being able to tackle the tough curriculum forced on them, and the lack of programs to teach life skills and job skills for those who could learn those, but not Geometry or Physical Science. We all want students to achieve their best, but some are being lost along the way while we sweep away Resource (pull out) classes, and insist that special ed students will take regular education classes and demand they achieve a regular education diploma. We special ed teachers really care about our students and want them to have something realistic they can succeed at doing by the time they graduate. Yet, we are penalized for every special education diploma we award, because those are counted Federally as "drop outs." It's very stressful. For the students as well as us case managers. Lots of sad situations going on. I suppose there's no system that is equitable all the way around.

Just another place where life is not fair. Who knew that could be true, eh?

Snoring

2009-02-18T21:41:00.002-05:00

Romeo has a mild case of asthma. He's snoozing right beside me and snoring up a storm because of his asthma. It's weird to be the only PERSON in the room, but still have to listen to a snoring sound!

I'm getting a cold.

Next week I go for my one year follow up with my surgeon. I'm very proud of her work. I can't wait to tell her and show her how nicely things have healed.

It took only 15 minutes today to do a school-wide memorial for Jeff. We were told to leave our grief at the service and go back to class. The students were respectful. The gym thoughtfully converted into a spare and tasteful space. The principal spoke, a student council member spoke, and one of our vice principals read his obituary. The choral director sang a song. They'd allocated 30 minutes for the memorial service, but only used 15 minutes, so had to try and herd the cats back into their respective classrooms. Right! The nicest thing about today was that Jeff's son was present to see over a thousand people come together in memory of his dad. THAT was the best memory we could possibly give him at this point. He'll always know that in two short years, his father had endeared himself to enough people to fill the stands of a high school gymnasium. The time for memorials and remembrance is officially ended. I hope my heart and mind can keep up with the official timeline for grief. I don't think I left it in the gym as directed. I'm a bit contrary that way.

April 18th

2009-02-17T23:43:00.003-05:00

I'll get on an airplane about 10PM on the 18th, and arrive the following morning at Shannon Ireland. Now here is the difficulty. Evidentally the ONLY thing in Shannon is the airport. So the closest place to stay will be Limerick. I figure that while I will be landing that morning, I'll be about as ready to sightsee as a bowl of oatmeal. When you look at the city of Limerick on the web (the closest place to Shannon where you can jump on a train), they show you this picture of Limerick.

Now the swans are pretty, but fore the rest of my life, when I think of swans, I'm going to think about how I almost killed one when in England. In England the Queen owns all the swans. I had the habit of getting bread and saving it to feed to the ducks and swans when we went places. I had a whole croissant in my hand and piece in my right hand to feed a swan. Instead of going for the piece of croissant in my right hand, the swan grabbed and got the nearly-whole croissant out of my left hand. The swan proceeded to choak it down. It got stuck in its gullet, and I thought for sure I was watching a swan croak. Fortunately it managed to get the croissant down, and I was saved from likely being arrested for killing one of the Queen's swans. So, while the look pretty, remember swans are BIG birds, and they are greedy. I do mean greedy! I don't know if the Queen owns the swans in Northern Ireland (Limerick is in the South, Eire), but if she does, she can be assured that I'll be much more careful with feeding them this time!

Now have a book on Ireland (thanks Kris) and so am excitedly trying to figure out what I want to see and make a schedule that will work with my time constraints. Getting very excited.

Finally Christmas Comparison

2009-02-16T19:30:00.005-05:00

Christmas 2007

Bald and Baby Jewel is only Days Old

At Christmas I wanted to do a comparison of one year to the next, but I couldn't get the picture of myself and the kids to download. For whatever reason, it's finally decided it would work. Go figure. So here's some pix with a happier content.

I don't know why this decided it would finally load, but it did.

Christmas 2008 -- I have HAIR and look at Jewel this year!

My hit accomplishment of the day was to go out for lunch, and to have a nice nap with Jewel. The last week has been pretty tough, and I just had run out of ZIP. Jewel and I went up to the bonus room at Jenn and Eric's and we zonked out! Felt good for me, and she's a real snuggler. Very cuddly.

My hair is finally long enough to curl a bit, and I'm really glad about that.

Must run to look for my phone. I have no idea where it is. Which is about the 40th time in the last six months I've lost track of something like my keys or phone. So, off to go looking and listening for it. Later gators.

Goodbye Jeff

2009-02-15T18:51:00.003-05:00

It's hard to say goodbye to someone only 42 and in love with life. He was a joker and gentleman and an altruistic person all wrapped up in a guy that was born to be a teacher. This picture was taken at Halloween when he borrowed the tiara from a student costume and he taught class the rest of the period wearing it. I'll miss you, Jeff.

He was so excited that he was going to teach an honors section of World Geography next year. Jeff had plans for the future and was the consumate Georgia fan. Despite the goofy tiara above he was a MANLY man, and very considerate and kind. He was engaged to be married again after seven years of loneliness. He'd been engaged only five days when whatever happend, happened.

Today was his wake.

Phew!!!!!!!!!!! Dodged another one!

2009-02-13T19:38:00.002-05:00

I have not been writing and not been posting much because I've been in the fetal position wondering if I was in the process of dying a terrible death. While I certainly will die someday, I hoping for it to be some time in a far off future, not anytime real soon. My unexplained pain is still unexplained, but we do know some things it is NOT. My great fear is that the pain was caused by cancer. It is not. Phew! For the last while I've been waiting for various scans. The CAT scan is fairly definitive though. If there is cancer hiding out somewhere, it's not in my kidneys, liver, pancreas, bowel and various other organs and glands in the general area of the mysterious pain.

It's triggering more testing, but it's not for cancer. My kind of cancer often comes back in the first three years, and very often in the first year, so I was really, really holding my breath!
It's been a tough week, this week. I've not been on my toes as a grammy, or a mom, and maybe not the best colleague at work. I'm doing my best to hang on and just manage while dealing with the death of a very special teaching colleague that didn't show up to work yesterday. EMS was sent out to check on him, and at age 42, his body was found in his home. Not much is known, but it was apparently an unexpected death due to health concerns he'd been trying to address. He was a fun guy, and often embarrassed me whenever I did some small kindness for him, by yelling across the room, "I have told you lately how much I love you?" He brought a smile to my face, he brought food to my house last year when I was sick, he loved his son deeply and with abandon, and he just bought his girlfriend THE engagement ring this past Saturday and got down on one knee. She'd been engaged to him for five whole days. The students are devastated. It's just been a very, very intense few days. I'm well into OVERWHELM.

Two things made me happy today. One is that I didn't have a return of cancer. The other is that my hair is finally long enough that I can style it a little bit. For those of you who knew me back in my Georgia Tech days, I can almost style it in that way. I can't use a curling iron like I did back then because their hair is more fragile and less thick. BUT I can put it up on rollers while I'm dressing in the AM, spray with hairspray, and let dry. Take down rollers, brush and voila, I have a bit of a hairstyle! I'll take my victories where I can get them. Today I bought some hair rollers, a new brush and a comb. Yeah!

So, imagine me throwing confetti up in the air and screaming with joy. I'm releasing imaginary balloons, and sending up spectacular fireworks to celebrate the NON-return of cancer. Wooohoooooo!!!

Ambushed by Grief

2009-02-12T20:21:00.003-05:00

A colleague and friend died unexpectedly today. My body, my heart, my mind are disquieted and tired. I'm going to miss you Jeff. Who will say, "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Test results come back tomorrow afternoon.

Quilt on hold until more fabric arrives.

Must sleep. Must, must sleep.

Day Butterfly House 2-7-09

2009-02-08T23:36:00.002-05:00

We went to the Day Butterfly House at Calloway Gardens yesterday. It was fun and exhausting. I don't think the children even noticed the butterflies! Liam did have an incredibly fun time riding his tricycle all over the paths there. He worked really, really, really hard at being civilized -- something very, very difficult to do when you're 3 going on 4. Jewel took her first walk with a harness on, and was accepting of it, all things considered. Safer in crowds and by the water.

Some of the creatures we went to see.

Jewel never noticed the butterflies but she was fascinated by the waterfalls and water features.

This is Jenn and Liam looking down from the top of a water feature. As little boys must, Liam had to make sure the water was really wet. ;)

Are these some of the happiest kids you've ever seen or what! Today at Tanner State Park, family got together for Jenn's birthday picnic. It was fabulous until Liam cut his toe. Ooops.

Testing III

2009-02-05T19:16:00.002-05:00

Well, it appears we're all going to get a review of Roman numerals. The oncologist is sending me Monday for a CAT scan. It appears the ultrasound was inadequate, and because there are so many organs in the area where I'm not feeling so wonderful, he thinks I should have a CAT scan. So, OK. I'll find out next Friday what the results are. His guess: nothing really scary. But it's just a guess. I'll feel better when I am more certain that there isn't anything scary there.

Have frabric and the idea for a quilt rolling around in my head. It's got to start happening for real soon.

Trying so very hard not to let work get to me. Stress just isn't good for anyone.

Testing II

2009-02-03T19:24:00.002-05:00

My liver has too much fat in it, but it seems to be healthy otherwise. My pancreas can not be visualized well, so I'm going in for blood tests tomorrow. There is one-half of a sigh of relief. :) Will post more as more news as it becomes available.

Testing

2009-02-02T21:23:00.002-05:00

Having a little testing done to just make sure all is well. When I know something, I'll share what I know with you. :)

One Year Anniversary

2009-01-28T20:32:00.003-05:00

I'm tired, really, really tired. I'd planned to write more tonight and include pix, etc. It won't happen tonight. But today has to be marked as the one year anniversary of my bilateral mastectomies. I was bald as a baby's butt, and went into the hospital this date with boobs and came home a few days later without them. Rather than being sad, I like to focus on the fact that I'm ALIVE and apparently healthy. I have high cholesterol, but who doesn't? I'll work on it.

Blessings upon my surgeon, all the doctors that have treated me so kindly and with such respect over this past year. (Well all but the plastic surgeon who treated me like a number on an assembly line, but his resident did excellent work on my scar revision.) Blessings to all the nurses, the staff and especially my daughter who treated me so kindly and gently during my recovery. Blessings to my son-in-law and daughter for hosting me during several recoveries this past year -- allowing my poor assaulted body to live with them in their house while they had a new baby and everything. I'm thankful to all my cyberfriends, my colleagues, my friends, my family and my parish who honored me in so many ways, but particularly by supporting me in raising funds for the 3-day Walk, keeping God reminded of my peril and sending food, love and positive energy, cards and cards, and more cards. All that love has left a permanent imprint onmy heart. Thank you all. My survival is due to a whole host of people and I'm grateful to all who did anything to support me. Thank you. Thank you so very much.

People of the Book

2009-01-25T19:30:00.005-05:00

It's literacy month at Haralson County High School, and teachers are supposed to be putting up posters for students to see what we're reading. My main accomplishment of this weekend is reading. I bought this book at the Richmond Airport after finishing the book I was reading on my way up there. The book by Geradline Brooks is just a tad confusing (at least to me) with the back-and-forth from historical past to contemporary times. However, this is totally worth the mild irritation because this Pulitizer Prize winning author weaves a wonderful story based in truth with the tiny embelishment of some historical fiction. She does it with fabulous verbage that makes someone who appreciates vocabulary, giddy. It's a rich embroidery of religious intersections in the name of art. It's a lovely book that makes me want to read more by this author.

The other thing I've done is to make my spring break time a planned reality. It's a real thing. I'm definitely going to Ireland. After researching, and researching, I've decided to fly into Shannon rather than London and commute from within the country as opposed to commuting across all of England and then crossing the Irish Sea. Too many changes of travel. Surprisingly the cost of going from here to JFK in NYC is rather more expensive than I'd imagined. I can now spend time figuring out what I want to go see, and when and how. I will be exhausted when I return, and have planned a whole day to collapse and sleep, but I suspect my butt will be draging the following week. I have it on good authority that (1) the Irish like Americans (always a plus when traveling in Europe), (2) they speak English (way better than flailing around with phrase books and sounding like a truly IGNORANTE and REDNECK American (PAR LAY VU ANG LASE? That was the UGLY American in France let me tell you!) and (3) the economic troubles of America are an infection that has spread around the globe and so the Euro / Dollar exchagne is better than it's been in a long time. Given my willingness to rough it in youth hostels and eat pub grub, I think I can get through the week without dropping too much money. So, I have my next adventure to dream about.

All thouse with travel advice on what to see in Ireland, are welcome to send me suggestions!

Inaugeration

2009-01-20T20:06:00.004-05:00

OK, so I was hokey and wore red, white and blue today, and my scarf that is inspired by the American flag. Some students were so gauche as to laugh. The ironic thing is that the ones making fun of me, were African American.

Third block is the block that has lunch and the inaugeration. I was able to borrow a classroom with a smartboard, and was not able to get in the que to get on CNN, nor could I get a stream from 11Alive. Finally I could get a streaming video from http://www.wsbtv.com/. Students had to stay in the classroom until JUST before Obama took the oath. I didn't know about the performance by Itzak Perlman and YoYo Ma, et al. so I was surprised by that, but happy to get to hear it. I thought at first that Obama had messed up the oath, but it turned out it was the CHIEF JUSTICE that screwed up and Obama waited for him to correct himself. Wow, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court choaked at the crucial moment. That'll be a moment in history to live down! I'm grateful to the content teacher who also wanted our students to see history being made. The rest of the school IF their teacher considered it important, was only able to watch the delayed feed at 2:30. There were no announcements today, and not one word of official focus on the history being made today. Apparently there are just too many dissatisfied Republicans or apathetic "citizens" or folks who prefer to ignore the specifics of today for other reasons I don't like to think about. I feel strongly it was an opportunity in Civics lost forever.

I just left Richmond, and I have to tell you it's COLD up there. Poor Barak has big 'ol ears that poke out. I have to wonder if the poor man's ears are about to freeze off, flappin' in the wind on such a cold day!? It was nice to see how tenderly and kindly everyone was to the little girls. I suspect that Michelle will have windburn on those legs. Did she look pretty or what!?

Courtesy of Getty photos is this very nice image.

Quite honestly, I'm surprised they walked ANY of the route back to the White House. I am afraid beyond belief that there is a big 'ol target on that man, and that some idiot will change history before we get a chance to see what this man can do. I'm glad beyond measure that GWB is gone. Whatever BHO does, it has to be an improvement! I'm so excited to hear that he wants to open up Science and that gives me hope because I take that to mean that stem cell research is about to crank up. People with cancer can benefit a lot from that research. It's nice to have a man with a intellect in the White House.

A lot of the old folks where my friend Lucille lives, went to a prayer service at 10:30 this morning to pray for President-elect Obama. I hope people continue to pray for his health, safety and discernment over his Presidency.

If there was a moment that I almost cried, it was when Aretha Franklin sang the old school song, "My County Tis of Thee." I loved her hat! I loved her presentation. I thought that was a classy moment, but I thought too of how far this country has come in her generation. I couldn't help but wonder what thoughts were going through John Lewis' brain right then. More than anything, I hope this man is the President to ALL of the people in America. He has 26 chromosomes from his dad that make his skin dark, but his mom gave him 26 chromosomes that are lily white, and he grew up in suburban white America. I believe as a common person that doesn't come from fabulous riches, but clearly has altruism and service in his soul, he can more accurately represent and identify with people like ME. And maybe you too. Let's celebrate with hope today, in the belief that tomorrow and many more tomorrows will be better because of his wisdom.

Believe..........believe in good. Hope for good. Hope upon hope that he hasn't had to sell his soul in order to get where he is.

(No matter what, I bet BHO never, ever thought he'd be on a blog that began about boobs!)

Atlanta to Richmond and Return

2009-01-19T19:10:00.002-05:00

OK, it was COLD on Saturday morning when I left for Richmond. It was something like 10 degrees. And it was about the same in Richmond. Brrrrrr.

Everything went well, except that the door to the airplane on the way up, wouldn't close. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty partial to flying with all doors closed. They sent for mechanics and after about 30 minutes of giving it some adjustments, it was decided we could go.

I rented a car and Lucille and I went places she seldom gets to go. Very low key, mostly just shopping that would be hard for her to do with the transportation from her place.

She lives at Westminister - Canterbury in Richmond and it's pretty awesome. Always some lecture, or a class, or some sort of activity going on. There are about 1000 residents there in their variousfacilities, and it's amazingly beautiful and the food is quite something. All the folks there are very excited about the inaugeration tomorrow, no matter if they voted for Obama or not.

I have to be up and out early tomorrow for "Read with Me," so I have to get myself ready for bed, and it's not looking good for me to clean before the the cleaning diva tomorrow. Fish and water pipes are fine.

Must run and start the washing machine!

Provisional Compliments on Tune Up

2009-01-17T00:08:00.002-05:00

Went in for my annual tune up and got nice comments from the doc, who I admire and respect. I think, mostly, he was just glad to see I'd survived treatments last year.

Am heading out early in the am in the hope that my pipes will not freeze while I'm away, and that the "wintery mix" will miss my return back on Monday. Brrrrrrr. Cold, cold, cold, and I'm not sure, but I think it's colder in Richmond. I heard today that it was colder here in Atlanta than it was in Ankorage. There's something REAL wrong about that.

I'm a bit worried about the fish if I lose power. There are three people on the planet that worry about their fish, and it appears I'm one of them.

Stay warm and let the faucet drip tonight!

Compound Inequalities

2009-01-15T19:50:00.004-05:00

Yup. I now know what they are. Graphing them is a whole nuther thing. Class today was a bit of a challenge. OK, it was a HUGE challenge.

Today during "Read with Me," I had a student come! We started the story and he LIKED it. The media specialist is actually going to order some adapted texts of the novels/plays and other readings for the various grades. I think I may have started something that is going to grow, grow, grow. But it's cool that students that have a hard time reading won't have to read Nathanial Hawthorne and his convoluted and vocabulary-rich _The Scarlet Letter_ in the long form. The adapted texts are a bit like getting the old, "Reader's Digest Condensed Books." I'm excited, and I haven't been excited about school stuff in a while. THIS helps students survive.

Another cool thing: I let a teacher know about an offer for art replica's. He applied to get the works, and we won. So we're getting a bunch of replicas of art across American history. FREE!

President GWB is saying "goodbye." My thoughts: Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!

Weird thing at school. I thought it only right that at least the Social Studies classes watch the swearing in of the new President. Guess what? We can't watch it in "real" time. We can see it on a delayed feed, but not as it happens. THAT is the result of the contract with have with our signal provider. Stuck between Birmingham and Atlanta signals, there is no signal via "air" that we can pick up, so we are at the mercy of Channel One.

I get to sleep in a bit tomorrow since I'm going for my annual "tune up" with my doc in Atlanta. Praying that my water doesn't freeze up tonight. All I can do is run my water in the hopes that will be enough to keep it from freezing. There is NO WAY (!) to cut off the outside faucets. How strange is that! Supposed to be 10 here tonight. Brrrrrrr.

NEWS FLASH! Because it's going to be cold enough to freeze the bus diesel fuel, AND because temps are anticipated to be between zero and five degrees tomorrow (temperatures low enough to cause flesh to freeze very quickly), school has been cancelled for the kiddies so they can stay home and stay warm. Teachers are to report, but I'm still keeping my appointment. That'll be a day we'll have to make up later, and I'm going to be peeved if they take it out of my spring break. Sigh. I got to tell you, zero to five degrees in Georgia is pretty extreme.

Hope wherever you are, you're warm, and loved, and that you're safe.

Read With Me

2009-01-14T21:40:00.002-05:00

Yes, tomorrow will be "Read with me" Thursday morning. Gotta go to bed soon so I can be sure to get there in time. The school media center specialist is nervous that I'll get more students than I have copies of books. I'm not THAT optimistic.

Today I got pulled from the Algebra IA class and have been put in the Algebra IB class. Supposedly because I'm better at being a collaborative teacher. It sure isn't because of my great math ability. Yeah, let's put the inadequate one into the more advanced class. Yush.

These kinds of things make me think I really, really want to teach something static each year. Just teach Biology or Environmental Science until I'm dead or 65, whichever comes first.

Tomorrow is "Friday" for me at work though, because I have a doc appointment in Atlanta on Friday, so I've taken the day off from work. When I get home from the doc, I pack, hope like heck that the temperatures don't drop so low my pipes burst, and Saturday in the early morning I buzz up to Richmond. I'm looking forward to seeing my friend Lucille. I looked into events going on in Richmond. Garrison Keillor is there with Prairie Home Companion and tix are still available. We will not be going however, because they are a mere $133 EACH. Yikes!

Must sleep now. 5:30 comes fast.

OMG!

2009-01-12T21:13:00.002-05:00

Yes, they did exactly what is most crazy. They put me in an Algebra class. My "excitement" is only rivaled by the many "fans" I have in this class. Two students wanted to get up and walk out the minute I walked in. It's generates a warm feeling. NOT!

I'm finishing up copying some files to a thumb drive to show on Wednesday about Jamestown. I have to be up early to get to school early enough to read for some non-readers who have to "read" at least three books in this class. So I'm going in at 7:30 on Tues and Thurs so the low readers can following along with me. Betcha that the goofballs don't bother and that I end up by myself tomorrow. But if they don't "read" three books, they'll fail the class. Sigh.

Tired. Must sleep. Night all. ALGEBRA!!!! Holy crap!

If it's in, take it out; if it's out, put it in.

2009-01-10T22:03:00.002-05:00

That's Jewel's developmental goal at this point in time. She had fun taking yarn out of my basket, and then walking around flapping the skeins around and then going back over and putting them back into the basket. She found all kinds of things that can be taking out, then put back in.

Misty, rainy, cool and overcast all day. My big score for the day was finding some pretty pillow shams at a consignment store.

Still pondering where I might go to for vacation during spring break. Where in the world is the best exchange rate for US Dollars? I don't know. I think I want to go somewhere I haven't been before and the Euro is definitely not a favorable comparison to the dollar. Hummmm. Where? I need something fun to look forward to.

Little Pink Bunting

2009-01-09T20:35:00.003-05:00

My one-year-old sweet granddaughter is snoozing right beside me. She ate a whole container of vanilla yogurt like a little bird. She'd look up at me and open her mouth, just waiting for the next spoonful to come down from where I was standing. A shower and a bottle later and she's zonked out beside me. It's a sweet feeling to have her snuggle up to me.

Came home tired today. It's been a race to get through the week. The teacher I'm teaching with 1st block is going to be gone all next week. That's a Literature class. They have to assign me to another class either 2nd or 4th block. Third I'm with a US History teacher. My boss is looking at numbers of enrollment and she called me today to ask if I was highly qualified (it's a teacher thing) in Science. So, I'm guessing I'll be in with at least one Science class. We'll see next week.

I am thinking more seriously about taking a Chemistry class this summer to see if I can pass the certification test in the area of Science. If I can, there is the potential for me to teach in that area in a regular education class. People recognize the pressure that special ed teachers are under and I've been told that shifting from special education to science is potentially possible. It would take another school year before it'd be feasible, but at least the present folks would give it some consideration. I'm going to look into it all and give it more thought. Regular ed teachers have their own pressures, but once someone leaves special education for regular ed, they don't ever seem to come back. In fact many feel a lift from a lot of pressure. So, I'm going to follow up and see what develops.

Floating

2009-01-08T22:09:00.002-05:00

My feet no longer touch the ground at school, becasue I float. HA! In actuality, floating means I have no spot of my own and so I migrate from one room to the next. So far I'm ending up working with an 11th grade Literature class, and a US History class. It's nice to be with slightly more mature students but it will be difficult to have three preparations. No fun. Technology is my enemy. We had no access to the internet at all today. I like to show students videos and there are some great ones on the web, but (1) I can't figure out how to download any to my thumb drive, though I know there IS a way to do it; and (2) even if I got it figured out there isn't much technology in either classroom to show the video. It's a hassle.

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. Maybe by next week I'll have my third class assignmnet. Hope it's something I like, with someone I'll like. Not all content teachers are suited to collaborative teaching.

Must sleep. Night all.

Richmond

2009-01-06T22:23:00.003-05:00

I bought some cheap seats to Richmond the MLK weekend. I'm going to visit my dear friend Lucille. It's always a little scary when one of your best friends is in their 80's. I haven't been able to see her in a couple years, and she's sounding a bit more frail, so I thought I'd best make a time to go see her soon.

She's already planning our itinerary. It'll be a weekend of blue haired ladies and who knows what kind of adventures, but I'll be glad to connect with Lucille again.

On another front, I've been pulled from World Geography. It appears that I'll likely be supporting students in three separate classes. One is a Literature class, one a US History and one is likely to be Citizenship and Economics. All the classes will be in the main building so at least I won't be zooming back and forth. Spring is the busy, busy time for Speds teachers, so a lot of this semester I'll be writing IEPs and doing casemanagement anyway. My boss told me not to get all wound up about doing a lot of the teaching, but to just help out the content teacher, and help the students that are mine and just manage as best as I can without breaking too much of a sweat, because with three preparations they know, I'd either have a stroke trying to do a good job or work myself into being sick. If they're happy with mediocrity, I'm fine with that too.

I've talked to a couple special ed people about my potential for attempting another certification so I could potentially teach regular education. Someone I really respect suggested that I'd be a lot happier and have less pressure on me if I did that. So, I'm kind of pondering the idea of auditing a Chemistry class this summer in the hope that if I learn the Chemistry I'll be able to pass the Science test for teacher certification. It's a lot of energy to put into a shot in the dark, BUT if we ever relocate anytime in the future, I stand a good chance of getting a job easier as a regular ed Science teacher. I'm ready for less pressure and teaching something I like, and teaching students that aren't always .... difficult. So, I'm not sure about all this, but I think I'm going to give it a go.

Sigh, I really don't want to do more school or take more tests, but I like the idea of more certifications and being more attractive to those seeking teachers.

The really nice part of the new classes that I'll be collaborating in this semester is that every one of them is with students that are at least in the 10th grade or higher, and I'm really kind of tired of the dramatics that the 9th graders seem to enjoy. So, maybe something is working out for me in ways that I hadn't anticipated. Who knows?

Monday at the Salt Mines

2009-01-05T22:43:00.002-05:00

Not a bad day. Got ready for tomorrow when the kiddies invade. So far, so good. I'm armed with syllibi, book-sign-out sheets, and a vocabulary worksheet. Wait until they find out they have homework tomorrow night! Ha!

Must hit the hay now, because I have to really get my butt in gear in a timly way tomorrow.

Peace.

The End of Winter Break

2009-01-04T01:04:00.005-05:00

Snuggles and Cuddles

2009-01-03T20:18:00.002-05:00

Got to be the Grammy last night and had Liam over. He GRINDS his teeth in his sleep something awful. I mean GRINDS! I never heard a little kid do that. We sometimes talk about how hard it must be to be 3, going on 4, and evidently it has tension for the little guy.

The two cats are always a bit put out when I have a grandchild over. They are not quite sure where to sleep or what to do. Chelsea decided to abandon ship and she slept on the couch. Romeo started the evening on the couch but later braved the full bed. By about four this morning, everyone was in the bed. Two cats, a grandchild and a fat grammy are a full bed, lemme tell ya.

We all got together for a FANTASTIC breakfast this morning. It was yummy!

I worked on the school website for a while and have done some web research. I keep dreaming of a trip, maybe during spring break. So many places to go, so little time! (and money) I've been wanting to go to Ireland for a long time. It's a mysterious country with very foreign sounding (and spelling) names. I've done coordinated tours where you hop on the bus when the tell you and sleep where they tell you. I've also just gone to the country where I wanted to and based myself in a youth hostel and traveled wherever I wanted each day. I'd get up that day and figure out, "Where do I want to go today?" And then I'd go. Each have their place. But I think I want to research things so I can do the latter kind of trip, but at least know what my options are about tourism. After spending some time researching things, I now know I know nothing!

I also spent a considerable amount of time doing some reflection on a new website that will be coming on-line in the next month or two that is for survivors of cancer locally. I try to give good quality feedback to folks. I hope it's useful in this instance. I appreciate the opportunity to be in on the creative end of things.

This time last year I was recovering from my last chemo treatment. Jenn and Jewel and my friend Marianne came to help me celebrate the end of my chemo. I had kept my eyelashes and eyebrows all the way to this point, but after the last chemo I lost them. That was a little hard after losing so much in other ways. Today I have HAIR. The hair that grew back and bothered me the most: my nose hair! Who would have thought! I hadn't actually realized I didn't have hair there anymore, but when it grew back, I surely did! It grows back curly and it tickles the inside of your nose when you breathe. This was very irritating. I was bald as a billiard cube for a long time, but now have about 4 inches of hair. It's not very cooperative and doesn't yet lend itself to a real style, but I'm very happy to have every millimeter that I have. Another aspect to this is my fear. I am happy to say that I'm one year out from my last chemo and am NED. This is the acronym for No Evidence of Disease. They can't say you're cancer-free. They can say you're NED. This is a good thing with my kind of cancer. A lot of triple negative folks have their cancer return within the first year -- some almost immediately. I've read accounts of people who's disease returned within the one to three month period post treatment. That would have been devastating to me. So, I'm happy to have my petite red blood cells and be here and be relatively healthy! Yes, I still have some enduring concerns post treatment, but I'm here. I'm on this side of the dirt, not a part of it.

Yacked too much. Just happy to be here and happy to have hair, and happy to contemplate the many opportunities available to me. Life is good.

Icky Kitty Sicky Stuff

2009-01-02T19:51:00.002-05:00

Chelsea went to the vet this morning and it was a good thing! She does have a really bad kidney infection, needed some kitty glandular maintenance, and got an x-ray to ensure she doesn't have cancer or some other serious problem in addition to the infection. She's on some new prescription cat food that is even more incredible than the prescription cat food she's already been on. She has antibiotics for the next 21 days and is supposed to go back in three weeks. She had lost a good bit of weight, and the vet was very concerned about that. He actually wants her to gain some weight back!

Liam is spending the night with his grammy as a treat. In another few years it's be more of a sentence than a treat so I might as well enjoy him and he me, while it's still possible.

It was rainy, cold and blaugh outside today. Jenn and I took the kids over to the local rec center with a couple balls, and let them case the balls all over the rec center for about an hour and a half today. All that running was good for them.

Jenn got some supplies at Hobby Lobby for her new hobby of embroidery (by machine). I tucked a few things away for next Christmas, and that ws pretty much it. We did have a wonderful meal provided by Eric. He grilled some steaks and they were NUMMY. What a nice finish to a busy day.

OK Chelsea, get well, that's an order!

Santa and Grandchildren

2009-01-01T21:52:00.003-05:00

From what I hear, getting the two kids to this photo session without bloodshed was a big accomplishment. Evidentally this photo was made during the one milisecond that someone wasn't crying. Nice looking Santa, but look at his eyes -- this is a man that believes he is about to be puked on, poohed on, or kicked in the shins.

Chelsea gets to go to the vet tomorrow. She's got a bladder infection. Going to the vet is a long drive too. But I have symathy for her having just gotten over my own recently. She has long term health issues though, enough so that she is on prescription cat food to help her not have as many problems with her kidneys / bladder. Probably means several weeks of antibiotics for the girl.

Jenny showed me the most extrordinary book. It's the process one woman takes toward quilting. The pictures and artistic quilting are just breath-taking. She has a new embroidery machine that is making her look at things with new eyes. This qulter is a real inspiration.

I hope the first day of 2009 was a good one for you.

2009

2008-12-31T21:04:00.002-05:00

Welcome 2009! Glad to see you. I'd like to put in my request for a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009, please. If you'll just put in the order for HEALTHY, the rest will follow. By the way, 2009, if you'd be kind enough to bring some PEACE with that new President, and maybe some jobs for those out of work, and do what you can to bring our guys and gals home from Afganistan and Iraq, out of harm's way that'd be great too. There's a lot of suffering going on in the world, so anything you can do to help the poor, the destitute, those who are homeless or alone or afraid, that'd be really nice. Thanks in advance for your help, 2009. I know you'll do your best.

To all my friends, colleagues, and the universe at-large, I hope all of you have a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009 yourselves.

Down Under Health

2008-12-30T20:41:00.002-05:00

Well, my ovaries are healthy. My uterus is happy. I do have a fibroid in the territory, but have been told it's cool. I've got drugs to blow the fungus to the moon and back. I'm getting vitamins to build up my red blood cells and make up for some deficiencies. I have been told I need to walk EVERYday. Not every-other-day. But everyday. My insulin is too high (and that's different than blood sugar). I can be virtuous about my blood sugar, but still have an over-abundance of insulin, and insulin is bad to have hanging around. So, I'm to build MUSCLES! HA!

Gotta go feed the fish.

New Year's -2

2008-12-29T18:52:00.002-05:00

OK, wowie zowie. I went from neutral to fifth gear quickly this morning. Betty had to go to the doc and her normal caregiver is down with the creeping crud. So I hustled myself out and got her to hustle herself out. It was an interesting ride. She generally doesn't notice much of anything about the car or the outside world. In fact, if she notices anything about the car, it's to ask "How much gas is there?" God help you if it's less than half a tank. Today she had no interest in how much gas was in the car (which was good because it was less than half a tank!). Today she was watching the on-coming traffic. Something I've never known her to do except back in the days when she drove. Another thing I've NEVER seen her do is yell at other drivers. In the car today, she started critiquing the other drivers and semi-yelling out things like, "Why don't you take your half out of the middle!" and "What kind of driver are you?!" I've never known her to do anything like this. And imagine my shock and surprise when I found out she'd been to Ireland to kiss the Blarney Stone! Her doctor is a wonderful man, but he HAS the gift of gab! The man can surely talk. So I said something to the effect that, "He must have kissed the Blarney Stone." She said, "I've been there." Well, I've known Betty about 37 years now, and I have a fair bit of information about where she's been and what she's done in her life. And you know....she's never been to Ireland to my knowledge. She saw my surprise, and backed off that and said, "Well, maybe I've been someplace where the had the stone on display." Now, I'd be willing to go for that except for one thing. That stone is firmly cemented into the wall of a CASTLE. There's no removing the Blarney Stone and taking it on the road.

Clearly this admission was a part of her dementia and it's called a confabulation in clinical circles. Recently she advised Jenny that she had marched in the Civil Rights Movement, which isn't completely out of character or unbelievable, but it seems like she might have mentioned it once in 37 years of acquaintance. However, she "remembers" walking miles and miles in protests.

Today she was perky enough to get dressed to go to the doc, but she was worn OUT by the time it was time to come home. She was happy though because we stopped at KFC and she got some original recipe friend chicken to go home with her. God but she loves fried chicken.

I went to the grocery and the pharmacy and came back. She is stocked in everything from toilet paper to drugs. And double thankfully, she now has a new person coming in on the weekends to ensure she's taken her meds and ensure she's ok. She now has someone coming 7 days a week. I'm happy about that. It makes me feel easier about her. EXCEPT........

Today when in the car I asked her to take her oxygen off her before she lit up her cigarette, and she said, "Why? It won't do anything. Look." And she demonstrated how the oxygen and cigarette would not blow us up. That means she's dropping her former good habits about not smoking simultaneously while using oxygen. Sigh.

Lastly, in the world of the weird today, Betty said, "I'll be glad to get home. I believe I've started a book." Now, Betty hasn't read a book in at least 5 or 6 years. She doesn't remember the newspaper and reads it two or three times in a day because by the time she's read to the back, she's forgotten what was in the front. You can't make sense of a book, if you can't remember the sequence of the plot and characters. She isn't always sure who Jewel is (often thinking it's Jenny when Jenny was a baby) and she can't figure out which of Jenn's sister's came by this weekend. But she's reading books again. I was surprised to see that she'd obviously either dug in the garage or sent someone to dig around in the garage, and had gotten some books out to "read."

Her brain is in a special place right now for sure. Life is getting interesting, that's for sure!

Christmas +3

2008-12-28T20:51:00.004-05:00

A couple days of quiet has been good for me. I haven't had this kind of quiet since my chemo, I don't think. But it's time to jump back into life and get some important things done tomorrow.

Feels weird to think it will soon be 2009. I sort of was just getting used to 2008 in a way. In other ways, not so much. I still want to write 199_, and it just blows my mind that it's a whole milenia that's useless and in the past now -- several years past.

I've watched too much TV over the holiday and it's been interesting. Just like the lead into Y2K where everyone was encouraged to buy extra food and stock up on firearms, I'm hearing those recommendations again. The financial situation of the country is really scaring people (and me) into some very sobering reflections. Put the India / Pakistan issue on the front burner and I'm beginning to feel shades of the late 50's and early 60's when we'd be doing "Duck and Cover" drills at school, and the A-bomb issue was so dramatically shown to us by Barry Goldwater during his run against JFK. (This commercial was actually a Johnson/Goldwater ad.) We felt an anxiety as kids that we'd never get to grow up; that we'd be vaporized. They say that fatalism is what fueled the Flower Children of the 60's -- that sense that we're all going to die soon anyway, so might as well get all the pleasure out of life that we can in the here-and-now. I don't know, I'm just aware of the fact that there's this dread I feel and remember from those days. Do any of you feel it? I'm curious. I have this mad desire to go start digging a bomb shelter a-la-1960's and I haven't felt that in a long time. Perhaps my Rx is to turn the TV off and stop watching the news! I was at the hospital on Friday and they had all these brochures out from Homeland Security about preparing for emergencies. Now if that brochure was put out by FEMA I wouldn't have thought twice about it. Yeah, we need to have a kit in case of a tornado or hurricane, etc. But it was put out by Homeland Security and it was clear that it was about "How to prepare in case you lose power for several days or more due to some catastrophe (like terrorism)." At least that is how I interpreted it. I also believe that in another 20+ days when GWB leaves, we're going to see a more free press (I believe it's been restrained forcibly during this administration.) and learn a lot of information we've been prevented from hearing up until now. I think we're going to be amazed at what we haven't heard coming out of Afghanistan and Iraq and other places. But that's me and my thoughts. Probably not what was on your mind when you started reading this blog is my guess. Dunno what to tell you except that I have a weird "take" of the world.

So I guess I'm thinking pretty pessimistically as we approach 2009!

Christmas +1

2008-12-26T20:34:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was like a huge meal. It was satisfying and so even though you ate, you ate more just because it was good. You ate until you had heartburn, and then you still wanted more because it only comes once a year and you want to savor every morsel. So yesterday, like a huge meal, I was fortunate enough to be blessed with a child and her wonderfully tolerant hubby, who called me at 5:55 am so I could come and watch the kids open presents. It was fun and totally expected and I was ready to pop out the door, until I realized I couldn't find the damn keys. I expect that my last act on this earth will be to expire while looking for my keys, damnit. So I got the back-up key and went down and we had a WONDERFUL time watching the kids and one another. I'd post pictures, but my camera decided to go on the fritz -- that or the card has a flaw. Not sure which. In any case, I am not posting a picture here of me and the two children in the same pose as last year's Christmas picture posting, because it's trapped inside the camera!

At 11am the next wave of family came and I was "eating" another helping of some different family coming together. It was fantastical and emotional and I loved every moment of it. It felt alive and interesting and by 1pm I was EXHAUSTED with a capital "E." Yet, it was very satisfying, but also added more to the feeling of "too much."

I took a nap after going home, and then to top of a day of wonderful Christmas-ing, I accompanied my SIL over to his family which has big arms and take me and Betty in as their adopted family. It's also a wonderful "meal" in the sense that it's like eating a dessert until you can't eat anymore. It was a real meal, that was sumptuous and rich and full of love. But it was also the joy of being allowed to be let into someone else's family and share the Christmas-ing they have going on. It was the emotional dessert to a day full, full, full of Christmas-ing and like a real meal, it was a simultaneous feeling of being satisfied, and too full. The pleasure of a whole day of togetherness and sharing and reaching out to family, friends and others.

I'm learning to like Christmas under Eric's remedial Christmas class each year. The true joy of having people over and sharing food, and being in company with one another in a way that doesn't generate tension and arguments and people so stressed out that they want to do bodily harm to someone else.

It may be too much to really take in to oneself in one day, but it's a banquet of love that I'm privileged to be able to partake of these last few years, and I'm very happy that so many will let me in to their lives and close to them and those they love.

Today, was a day of quiet so that my psyche could recover some. I went in for a hospital test that will be interpreted next week. I went grocery shopping and got new cat litter to the delight of my kitties who needed new litter on Christmas Eve but ended up waiting until today before I could satisfy the need for better cat hygiene here.

I hope you and those you love all got to have a feast of love and togetherness yesterday and that for all of you it was pleasure.

Tractor Supply Company

2008-12-24T11:29:00.002-05:00

OK, I think when you get a family gift at the Tractor Supply Company you definitely live in the country. But, there it was about six weeks ago, calling my name and going pssst, come over here, buy me! And so I did. It will be a fun family gift, I think.

Day before yesterday, Liam I went to see "Tale of Despereaux" at the movies. He hasn't been to the movies much, and so I was really glad he did well with it. He didn't even cry when I said "no" to the request for candy, but we did enjoy some popcorn. Liam is almost 4 and so I was startled when I saw it was rate PG, when driving up to the movie. It's because of some moments of "drama" that make for some tense moments. Liam sat in my lap for those, but we made it through the movie fine. I don't much care for some of the characters' stylized looks (the humans -- the rats and mice look OK to me). BUT, the messages are wholesome and presented beautifully in something akin to near reality / chartoonishness. However, analyzing the movie is NOT going to make a 3.5 year old happy. Riding in the car, I tried to ask Liam "What were some of the qualities of Despereaux that you liked?" Things like that. He promptly went into nuclear meltdown, so don't do movie analysis with a really, really young child. Stupid grammy! We both enjoyed the movie a lot. If you get stuck for something to go watch with your grandchildren for camouflage or if you just want to see something uplifting, it's a classic tale of a quest and a quest that ends in a classic happy ending. That's all I'll say. You feel a nice sense of satisfaction when you leave the movie theater.

We're going to get together as a family later today. Miss Jewel is here keeping me company, and Jenn and I have a project to do in a bit for Betty. It's all low key for me today. Everything is done! (Well, everything that is going to GET done.) On a positive note, a happy find today. I found that the files I worked so hard on (twice) yesterday, are intact! I found them and so I can do my project, it'll just go to folks after Christmas. Jewel wants to help me right now, so I'm signing off until tomorrow. I hope you and those you love are happy, healthy and bring you joy.

Frustration and Christmas Secrets

2008-12-23T21:41:00.003-05:00

I worked on a project for about two hours this afternoon that I thought would be cool. Then hit the wrong key and lost all that work. Well I got back from taking care of some details with Betty and getting her some groceries (wow the store was FULL!) and tried staring all over again. I had spent about three hours really working on the project and really got it done nicely this time -- spent a lot of time getting it really well done, and you guessed it -- the computer dumped the files and didn't write them to the CD. So I've officially abandoned making a personalized set of calendars for family. I'm not putting more time into it.

Betty is doing moderately well. She at least gotten dressed for her last two doc appointments. She's still staying conscientiously on her oxygen all the time. Now that her brain is about suffocated, she realizes how important the oxygen is! She has to go Friday for bloodwork and a chest x-ray and then Monday she sees the docs again. As might be expected of someone her age (almost 78) she's recovering slowly. I don't know why they sent her home so quickly from the hospital! I do know though that her doc knows how fragile she is, and doesn't want her in the hospital around all the germs there, so I'm guessing that is why they sent her home in such fragile shape. Anyway, she's perking up slowly. She's smoking more, and that's always a good indicator of how she feels. She still has pneumonia though. It's slowly clearing. But she's bouncing back yet again. She's an amazing woman!

I've told her what she's doing for Christmas several times now, but her caregiver says that she frets about it during the time Peggy's there, because she doesn't see the gifts and she wants to be sure she's taking care of Christmas for everyone. So I went over things with her again tonight. She seems genuinely appreciative of what has been done on her behalf, and she seems to be looking forward to seeing the gifts opened, but I don't think she has a clue what some of the things are.

Tomorrow Jenn and I are working on a special project for her. Sort of a memory item with pix of family throughout the years that she can have at-hand. I hope they aren't sad for her. The last time she talked about her son and husband with me she was calm about it, seemingly. It was alarming though that the day she checked into the hospital she asked Jenn, "Sid is dead, isn't he?" So, she's losing more threads of continuity. How sad to not be sure if your son is alive or dead -- and to find out over again that he has moved on to larger life. She seemed to find some comfort from the fact that her husband and son had one another in the next life. She seems happy most days. She was perky tonight and wanted me to stay longer, but the house was smoky and about 100 degrees. She REALLY likes it warm these days!

I hope you and those you love are warm and well this night.

Christmas Greetings.

2008-12-22T22:09:00.009-05:00

Someone wonderful sent me this card. It's so lovely I wanted to share it with all my friends out there. I send my love and send you blessings for being here with me this past year.

Remember too that the gift that started all this foo-faa-rah that we do this time of the year as a part of showing our love for one another, was a gift from god. Today is the 2nd night of Hanukkah, the second night of Winter and just a few days away from Christmas. Christmas is when we celebrate the least among us who came to share in humanity for godly reasons. Even if you don't "believe," it's a nice mythic story to feel all warm and fuzzy over.

Here is an interesting observation from the big dudes and dudettes of the Anglican church on behalf of the Magi -- The Three "Wise" Persons who visited the child and left gold, frankincense and myrrh. Fascinating.

Finally, HERE is a nice revisionist view of how things might really have been IF there really had been Wise Women bringing gifts, and a more realistic view of the other characters in the saga. It's worth the time to read through it.

Pray for those stranded in the winter freeze. Be thankful if you have heat and lights, and be nice even though you're tired and cranky because you've done too much this week. The majority of us are pretty strung out too.

Tornado!

2008-12-20T23:03:00.004-05:00

This is the article in our local paper (The Gateway Beacon). If you click on it twice, it'll get big enough so you can actually read it. It's written about so calmly. At the time, it was not very calm at all. But the best part was that NO ONE, not one person was hurt. Amazing when you consider the weight of the 8 ton air conditioning unit flying through the air, and the fact that propane gas was flowing INTO the school.

I saw the glaziers at school yesterday. There have been insurance people up on the roof taking pictures and it looks weird to see people up on the roof with cameras. Scary weird.

Rested today and it felt GOOD! Christmas either will or won't get done, and frankly I'm hard up to care. I'm just thankful that I had a day to myself to rest. I'm over my cold and enjoyed having Miss Jewel for her very first sleep-over last night. What a cutie pie. She's so coquettish naturally. What a darling. After she went to sleep, one of my cats (Chelsea) snuggled up next to her so that they were back-to-back. I don't know if Chelsea was claiming her as her own, or just a sucker for another warm body to snuggle up to. I thought it was sweet. Romeo always sleeps at my feet. Chelsea always sleeps by MY side. So I suppose I should be jealous that Chelsea is so fickle. Heh.

1st Christmas Padgent

2008-12-16T20:48:00.006-05:00

Liam had his first Christmas padgent tonight. Here's a clip. He's the blonde kid with the blue sweater on. Turn your speakers down if you get startled easily. The song is sung ENTHUSIASTICALLY!

I thought the little ones were incredibly brave, or perhaps not so self-conscious. One little girl cried, and I got the impression it was more that she was seperated from her family, rather than fear of being on stage. The rest were happy to be hurded by their teachers who tried ever so hard to teach the children to do hand signs that accompanied the songs. The teachers did the hand movements really well, but their small charges were dazzled by the lights and all the people.

Tomorrow we have students for half the day of exams and then were are free from adolescent angst for two weeks. I have to work Friday but no kiddos.

I must sleep now. I feel like I could sleep for the next two weeks. But, I like so many others, have way to much to get done.

Muy Consado

2008-12-15T22:56:00.002-05:00

Very tired today. I made a study guide for the kids, some of which will take their final on Wednesday and the remainder on Thursday. They are restless, aggitated, and noisy right now. I think it's the noisy part that wears me down the fastest.

I did a crap load of web pages today. Grocery shopping for Betty, and am now going to sleep in the full knowldge that I will put on my cleanest pair of pre-worn slacks tomorrow because I took a nap instead of doing laundry!

My least fun job today was calling or writing all parents of failing students. For some the handwriting is on the wall. Most moms and dads were aware of their child's lack of achievement, and most say they have no way to control their kids. I don't get it. I just do not understand why parents don't take away mp3 players, cell phones, tv or video time, take car keys, or whatever. Priviledges are earned, not just given as an entitlement. I've always admired a mom that took her child's entire room, including the door and put it in storage. She left the girl sheets and blankets and a pillow. She had to earn back her bed, her stereo, and lastly her door. I liked that mom! She knew who controlled access to all the priviledges. I don't understand parents who try to resign from parenting. Heh, I also faxed grades to one kid's probation officer. Somehow of all the kids, my guess is that he will have the least happy time off. Yes, I want my students to do well, and if that means reporting their underachievement to their probation officer, I'm willing to do that too!

Night all.

Feliz Navidad!

2008-12-14T23:45:00.002-05:00

Today was lovely. I had breakfast with family. Delivered breakfast to Betty. Rested and napped. I'm thankful for all the kind people in my life now, like my chemoangels that remembered my birthday, and the wonderful love of my child and grandchildren, and son-in-law that makes wonderful breakfasts filled with love and cuddles for his kids, and kisses for his wife, and time for this old lady, who's made it one more, long, harrowing, year. I'm happy to be here, and to feel relatively good, and have so much to look forward to do in the future.

I hope your house has such great blessings in it too.

First Birthday

2008-12-13T22:05:00.005-05:00

Don't be horified by the near nudity, but this is the ONLY way to eat your first birthday cake. After the singing and the clapping and stuffing and finger-painting with the cake, then dad takes things in-hand.

And doing the only logical thing, we put the baby in the kitchen sink!

No matter if I wanted his help or not, my big brother "helped" me today unwrapping my presents and generally being at the center of the festivities, just like any 3-year-old fellow will. Wait until he see's what happens when Jewel turns 16! By then I'll be able to fend his "help" off.

Miss Jewel had a very fun day with all her family around her. Grandma Betty is still feeling a bit puny from her pneumonia and she couldn't make it today, but folks did stop by and visit with her.

I think Liam had a fun day playing big time with his cousins.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2008-12-12T22:17:00.002-05:00

So, Betty is getting better, but is still a little light on the congnitive area. She refused to go get medical testing today because she wasn't sick, and didn't remember being in the hospital ALTHOUGH she is wearing her oxygen like a good girl. Tomorrow I am taking her for the testing. Evidentally Jenn and I have special powers and I shall use them!

It was nice and quiet today at school, no fire engines, no high winds, and no alarms or TV reporters. THAT is a good thing.

I've been working on the school web pages. Got some questions answered today that needed to be done. So I can now be more productive and more nerdy. ;)

Next week there is the End of Course Testing to be completed as it was delayed by the tornado. Then Wednesday and Thursday will be final exams. Friday is a teacher work day.

I'm trying to finish my Christmas stuff (mostly done) and get Betty's completed. Her darling caregiver has decorated her house with all sorts of festive holiday decorations. I must clean the fish tank tomorrow and get more fish food. Exciting stuff around here. Mostly it's just busy, busy, busy. The really fun thing will be Jewel's birthday on Saturday. I hope she feels more herself tomorrow because first birthdays are just so awesome. She is so awesome.

I'll have my snuggle bug Liam tomorrow night. Grandchildren are just the BEST ever. They really make you feel special. I am so privileged that I can live close to them and be a part of their lives. They truely enrich mine!

Excitement at School

2008-12-10T21:37:00.003-05:00

OK this is what's left of the metal housing for an 8 ton air conditioning unit. This was the biggest of the bits that got blown off the school roof.

The picture below shows the swiftly descending news crews. There was a channel 2 crew there almost instantly, and after the kids were bussed home, the channel 5 truck arrived.

Behind the news truck, is the stadium. It's a good thing that football season is over, because the scoreboard got creamed by the tornado (yes, it's been verified by the National Weather Service). A couple trees fell, crushing a fence and damaging the "away" team stands. A ceiling in one of the girl's bathroom got blown IN, and one window was shattered. The big deal was that when the air conditioning stuff got blown off the roof, it severed a gas connection causing gas to leak into the school. And it was the gas leak that caused all the kerfuffle.

I thought the kids were pretty gracious and well mannered through a genuine crisis. A few girls cried when we had them line up in the hall on the floor as a precaution when another line of storms came through.

About a third of the kids seemed to have a parent that came to get them, and then the buses came back and picked them up and took them back home. We teachers were all called to a mandatory meeting in the media center, where I figured we'd be told we were contractually obligated to stay until 3. However, we were told we done good and that we could leave at noon. OK so it was a little hectic this morning; I loved getting an unexpected afternoon off. It was only a little tornado, really. Just a little one.

Met up with Jenn and Jewel and we had a fun time doing a little shopping, and then we got the call that Betty was being discharged, so I went and picked her up. She was so glad to be discharged that she got dressed, unhooked the IV connection, put on her shoes and went down to the lobby (god knows how she found her way there) to wait for me. The nurses DID notice that their patient was lost and so a search ensued. They found her and persuaded her to come take a breathing treatment and get the IV out of her arm before being picked up.

She has to see her general practitioner and her pulmonologist in the next few days, and god bless her caregiver, she's willing to take her. I showed Betty the cutie little outfits that she got Jewel, and she said I needed to go back and get some more for her Christmas presents.

She was very chatty the whole trip home, insisting we stop to get her some fried chicken, and gobbling up a hefty portion of it when she did get home. She's wearing her home oxygen and swears she'll keep using it. She tends to be pretty good about taking it off while smoking, but as a family we've made our peace with the fact that she might accidentally blow herself to kingdom come. I hope not, but I think she'll manage ok. She was home long enough to run to the restroom, and as soon as she popped out, she fairly ran for her cigarettes and lighter. THAT is the reason I can't stay with her overnight. I can't handle the smoke given the fact that I'm having trouble breathing.

So, it's been an exciting day. Herding excited teens through a real tornado and gas leak, was a little more excitement than I had planned for the day, but NO ONE WAS HURT. Not a bruise, scratch, nor a hangnail. A couple vehicles were damaged slightly, but no one was hurt. Gosh I hope they get that air conditioner fixed by spring. It gets hot early in the season here.

Next fun thing to consider: A wintery weather mix is anticipated for Friday. Sigh. Too much stress at the end of the semester.

Ahhhhh

2008-12-09T22:13:00.003-05:00

OK, the End of Course Testing is done for me ... I think. I got totally absorbed with it and didn't have my phone with me today. So of course, today was the day that Betty got sickies enough that her caregiver called. Fortunately when she couldn't get me she called Jenny. She got in to see her doc (god bless that man) and was admitted with pneumonia. She is now attended by STAFF. Her blood is too thin too. This is her first hospitalization in at least three years or more. She's not in intensive care or anything. Just a regular hospital room where she'll take breathing treatments she doesn't want, and eat food she doesn't like, and threaten the staff with all sorts of things. she'll have nicotine patches but not cigarettes, and she'll be GRUMPY. I'm glad that with the kind of care she needs, the doc just put her butt in the hospital.

I've gotten my issue of the nether region re-examined and the doc is going to wait and watch for another month just to be sure it's not something REALLY yucky. So first thing in January I'll break in my new year of insurance with a visit to a doc about unmentionable issues.

I'll miss my year of 100% coverage, but it'll be a good year to put behind me. My insurance has definitely spent a few bucks on me this year!

God bless the cleaning diva who blessed my house with her attention today.

I'll keep all of you updated on Betty as developments arise. And lastly, poor Jewel has a cold and spent the day with mom and her great-grandma which was crumby because it was her first birthday!
Last year, above.
About 10 days ago, below.

EOCT

2008-12-08T19:38:00.002-05:00

That stands for End of Course Testing. The test is devised by the State of Georgia and accounts for 15% of the student's grade for the semester. Grades will not be back from state scoring for a while, so those kids get to sit and stew for a while to see what their grade will be and for those who run close to the margin, if they will pass or fail the class.

The students today had that "deer in the headlights look" all three times that I administered the tests. One in Economics, and two in US History. I have to admit, I don't know that I could pass Economics. These are NOT easy tests.

This is a difficult time for many students who will come to realize they may never be able to pass the testing required for a regular education diploma. Students and families hold out hope for a long time in high school.

Tomorrow I see the butt doc. I'm hoping my butt doesn't need any further attention. It is just now feeling like it won't explode when I cough, and I cough a LOT these days.

Very tired. I'm going to go to sleep tonight. I could hardly settle last night, so some sleep tonight seems like a really good thing.

Organic Blue Sky Black Cherry Cherish Soda

2008-12-07T14:24:00.004-05:00

Summer a couple years ago, Jenny and Liam and I went to Salt Lake City. It was a fun trip. We got to see a little of the area. But the closest food store was the SLC version of a Whole Food's Market only smaller. The closest thing to "Coke" was this, and I discovered a heavenly, devine, drink that I shouldn't drink but every once and a while I just break down and get some at .....Ingles! The Blue Sky brand has ginger ale, orange and I don't know what all flavors, but the Black Cherry is yummmmmm! I broke down and bought some tonight as a treat. Yummmmm.

I'm eating vitamin C. Bought some orange juice and orange (though my butt doc surgeon urged me to stay away from oranges) juice and am going to live with anitbacterial hand stuff this next two weeks.

Tomorrow and Tuesday I read end of course tests all day. Then only 6 more full days, followed by two half-days of "Final Exams." There will be such begging in the next two weeks. All the slackers will see their sins catching up with them just before Christmas. I have to remember that the majority of students are nice and cooperative and do well. But over the course of the next two weeks, the nasty ones that joked and played and annoyed the bejezus out of us teachers will now turn into fawning sycophants. It's annoying. I gave a student an overview of his missing work the other day and he claimed long and loud that I'd never done that before. (Only about 14 times this semester.) We'll all eat too much next week, and most of us teachers will have a bit of a wild-eyed look as we race to the end.

It's chilly outside. I hope you and those you love are warm and loved inside this night.

10 points extra credit if you know the state bird of Utah and why (without the crutch of google), and you're not a Latter Day Saint. ;)

Eye Glasses and Stuff

2008-12-05T18:12:00.003-05:00

Well if it's not one end of me, it's another. So Monday the medical community works on my nether regions. Thursday I go back for my re-exam for my eyes. Three months ago the pupil muscles were still working poorly from chemo effects. They're improving enough that the residual difficulties are attributed now to my "advancing age." Yikes! I haven't had that term applied to me before! My advancing age effects my pupils! Holy smokes. I wasn't thinking I was THAT old! Anyway, I got fitted for new glasses, but the cool thing is that they're going to be able to use the same frame that I have right now and like, just a new frame. I'm keeping my old glasses, as I alway keep the old ones for emergencies. If I ever break my glasses, I could never drive home without glasses. I always travel with a spare pair just in case. I once had a pair break at the nose piece when I was in Vermont. I walked into an optician's shop and begged them to find some frames to put around my lenses, and they did! I'm not taking chances on that kind of luck again though. Here's the part that totally took my breath........I know I have a challenging prescription and all, but they are $850. Yipes! If your Christmas present hasn't already been bought, you may be getting good wishes from me and that's it! Wow! The eye doc also recommended that I take vitamins for my eyes, because there might be the beginning of macular degeneration. They will monitor it and can't say for certain yet if it will develop or not, but it's definitely an issue of concern. Makes me wonder if I should start taking Braille classes or something. Yush. GREAT week. Just great!

In this middle of all of this, I'm still coughing and spluttering from this cold I can't seems to shake completely. It's really annoying for me; I'm pretty sure it's annoying as h*ll for people around me. I'm sorry. I hope it goes away too.

But things are looking up. The neighborhood is looking happier with twinkling lights. I'm going to get some rest and relax over the weekend, and with any luck that will knock this cold out of me.

So...............who would have ever thought that another woman who MIGHT take Hillary Clinton's spot in Congress?! It hasen't even been 20 years since they installed a women's bathroom on the same floor of the Capital near the Senate Chambers. It took a long time for the country to understand that women could, would and do belong not just in the House but the Senate as well.

And lasty, the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church died today at the age of 79. He kept his faith alive somehow through the Communist era. He survived and thrived to grow his church to a healthy 700,000 after Communism fell, and while he wasn't a warm, fuzzy man when it came to allowing other faiths to "play in his sandbox" one has to respect him for enduring some terrible times and in his elder years "making hay while the sun shone." Peace be upon you.

1/2 day of students, 1/2 day of meetings

2008-12-03T21:15:00.002-05:00

We zipped through 1/2 day of classes today. I'm not entirely sure why we got a 1/2 day off but we did. 1/2 day of meetings followed. I got Miss Jewel's birthday present and came home to rest. Very tired. I'm not on antibiotics or anything like that, but the hole in me, apparently lets energy seap out along with the poison. I just go home and can barely move for a few hours. Get up, read a bit, and "meditate" for a bit a couple times, and then it's off to sleep what I can while I can. I saw a clip of Britany Spears saying her life was so boring it was like Groundhog Day everyday. I'm feeling that a bit myself. But I bet her day is WAY more interesting than mine. It's at least skinnier.

Still have to figure out a present for Eric. He's my mystery person in a modest year of giving. Guys are always a mystery to me though. Someone, somewhere would do the world a favor if they'd just come up with something cool for a guy that isn't a tool, (I think that's like giving a George Foreman grill to mom for Christmas.) or a tie (My taste is not likely your taste.) or the lame old gift certificate or $$ (both scream to me -- You're an inadequate gift giver -- you don't even care to figure out something special for this loved one). Guys don't appear to have favorite artists you can buy a small print of, or a hobby you can add to (Golf is like the esoteric hobby of all time -- everything is customized for YOU and it all costs BUX and you're pretty much guaranteed to never get the right gizmo.). Why can't a guy have a hobby like mineature railroading where a train is a train is a train, or collecting historical documents, or lusting after some accessory like a woman's perfect purse or a great piece of jewelry. You see, it just doesn't transfer. Accessorizing for a guy just doesn't work. What is a conscientious MIL to do for an adored SIL without being a dork???? I want to be the giver of the surprise gift that is COOL. But, I've lost all cool when it comes to guys. I am..........a guy gift underachiever.

Bah. I must think outside the box, and unfortunately I haven't found "the box" yet, in order to imagine outside it.

Someone do an informal pole of their men folks and give me some ideas of what's cool in the mens world that's won't break the bank, because an LED wide screen TV is out of the question. He hates fishing. He could camp indefinitely in the case of a nuclear attack with all the cha chas necessary to make like comfortable. He's not a member of the Moose Club, Elks, Masons or any other fraternal or service organization. I mean WHAT'S A PERSON to do???????

Meditation

2008-12-02T22:39:00.002-05:00

Trying desperately to catch up on casemanagement at work. Playing beat-the-deadline. Doesn't feel good.

Only 12 more days with this group of students. We get a new group in January. I think most teachers are tired of this group and ready to be aggrivated by a new bunch of people. Glad we don't have to prep our students for an end-of-course test, but students have really proven themselves to be pretty unwilling to invest themselves in learning. It's hard for teachers who do love learning to understand students who don't study, don't review, and don't care if they pass or fail.

I didn't go to the breast cancer support group tonight. Just didn't have it in me. Must go meditate for about 15 minutes. Then it's off to bed for me. Lovely pain meds do help. ;) Blessings on you at your house.

Ooops!

2008-12-01T20:09:00.004-05:00

Things have been a big subdued at my house for the last several days because of a small medical issue. Of course it doesn't come up on a M - F of a normal week. This issue has to come up quite literally on Thanksgiving. Down in the nether regions something was wrong. Bad wrong. But not so bad that a trip to the ER was the best plan. So I kind of gutted it out until today, and called a surgeon who squeezed me in this AM. He wasn't the most gentle fellow I've ever met, but he treated the issue and has hopefully ended a lot of sit-down suffering. His most memorable quality was that he looks like "Beaker" of the Muppets fame.

He deemed me unfit for teachering today, so I got to go home early and get a little happier with some nice pain killers. I am a happier girl today than I was yesterday!

We had snow flurries today! OK, it was only for 15 minutes and they were the teeny, tiniest snowflakes ever, but it was fun to watch it coming down. Such an unlikely thing to happen in Georgia on December 1st.

I hope you and those you love are warm and well tonight, and that no one you know had to have "minor surgery" other than me. It's such an oxymoron! PS: Hey, Beaker, if what goes around comes around, I hope someone is someday as gentle with your nether regions as you were today with mine! You have the gentle touch of Rhinoceros fingers!

Family Reunion Almost

2008-11-29T19:37:00.002-05:00

Betty took a shower! Without much hassle. She wouldn't wash her hair, but she took a shower. She wore a nice outfit, that makes me think she's losing weight. I'll have to check on that.

She kept asking things like, "Where are we going?" "Are we going to get something to eat?" "Who's house are we going to?" And the ever-famous, "How long until we get there?" But she rode well in the car, and had a nice dinner and though she got tired and scared some folks when we brought out her oxygen to revive her a bit, she had a great time. She kept telling us that several times in the car on the way home. I think she was pretty tuckered out by the time we dropped her off home, but she enjoyed herself.

I don't think she knew who anyone other me, Eric, Jenn and Jewel / Liam...and Carolyn, her newphew's ex-wife were. But she was gracious and didn't seem to be too nervous becuase the elephant burps are part of her nerves, and she didn't do too bad with them. Unfortunately her sister who is also medically frail, and who we hoped she'd get to see, didn't make it due to the weather. However, Betty did so good, it gives us hope that we can try to plan a day to get the two elder sisters together in the near future.

This is my ex-husband's maternal side of the family. They were always welcoming, kind and accepting of me as family, even after I became an ex-wife. It was really great to reunite with some people I haven't seen in a long time. It was fun to see Jenn's contemporaries that I knew as children, all grown up now. It was amazing to see scads of little boys (only Jewel and one other little girl) playing really well together. It was really funny in a way to see how prolific that generation has been! Holy smokes! I bet there were 25 children there under the age of 10.

I was proud of Betty for doing something that was really challenging for her, and glad that she enjoyed herself. She doesn't get out much, and Newnan is probably the farthest she's been driven in a couple years. Today was just a happy day.

God bless the McDonald household as they try valiently to "teach" Jewel to sleep in her own crib upstairs. So far, the sleep deprivation curve is getting pretty steep for everyone there. Good luck with that. For a baby she is one of the lightest sleepers I've seen in a while. She sits up every hour or so, looks around and then just lays back down and sleeps. I haven't seen a baby do that before. They're either UP or DOWN but not down, up, down. Such a sweet little individual. She has her own stylized hand movements that she's done since birth. She listens to music with her whole body. The legs wriggle and giggle and the hands move, and even her torso sways to the music. It's a delight to see her so absorbed and so unselfconscious about what she's doing.

Liam, the Star Wars fiend, found a Darth Vadar outfit at his cousin's house and I will post some pix of him shortly all decked out. He's a big fan of Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and I think likes Darth Vadar's character a lot. We are not sure why, but if you ask Liam "Where does Darth Vadar live?" He's quick to let you know, "He lives in Las Vegas." Who knew?

I hope you and those you love are safe, warm and with loved ones tonight.

Friends Across the Web

2008-11-28T19:41:00.004-05:00

OK, so let's see, I've flown to meet people I've only talked to in cyberspace three times now. Once to Washington, DC, once to Florida (thanks Leslie, et al.) and once to England! Children do NOT do this. However, I think smart, discerning adults who check things out ahead of time, are relatively safe to go visit cyberfriends.

Today I drove an hour north to visit with a cyberfriend closer than I imagined. Mapquest worked perfectly for once, even if it did print out in something like a 6 point font! Thankfully I'm nearsighted, not farsighted so I could see the microscopic print. I arrived at the appointed time. But being a little bit of a ditz these days, I didn't get a picture of Meta and myself. We were even color-coordinated today! I met Meta on-line via a group of folks I participate in an automated listserve with (if you don't know what it is, don't worry about it). I knew I was within driving distance, but thought she was farther away than reality. I'm sure I'll get to go back, if Meta forgives me for the one picture of her that I did take. Sorry, dear one, it's the only one I have.

Her lovely grandchild, "Boo," and her friendly husband, "Wheelie" were also there. We had a great visit and a lovely lunch of T-giving turkey sandwiches. (What else on Friday after T-giving?!) Mmmmmmm. Very nummy. I have to say that I missed one of the many turns on the way home and so took a more scenic route home, than I did going there. It's all ok. Next time I'll print out the directions in reverse! It seems like it'd be easy, but it's harder than you think, OK. No teasing allowed. Check out Calypsotown to learn more about the life and times of Meta above.

After enjoying some quiet reading once I got home, Jenn and I made plans for tomorrow. We have undertaken to take Betty to see her Sister and her Sister's family in Peachtree City. This is a trip of about 65-70 miles. This does not sound like a big deal, but keep in mind that (a) she is impatient going 15 minutes to Carrollton. (b) Her breathing is more labored and difficult in the cooler weather, (c) she won't be allowed to smoke in the van, and (d) it means she has to take a shower tomorrow morning. I have been delegated with the honor of "encouraging" her to take a shower in the morning. She knows that taking showers is important and she lies and says she takes one everyday, but the nose, knows. I also buy all her soap and shampoo products, and I know things no other person should know about how often these products are (or are not) used. Jenn said I can threaten her by saying, "If you don't take a shower I'll call Jenny," and ultimately, "If you don't take a shower, we won't take you." Although, we probably would. The last shower intervention I participated in was.....lengthy, made Betty angry because she wasn't allowed to escape the shower torture, and also made her embarassed. She has enough mind there that she does feel embarassed still. So, tomorrow will be an adventure! No matter what happens, it will be an adventure.

I am looking forward to seeing family I haven't seen in ages. Betty's sister is frail, has alzheimer's also, and this might be their last chance to see one another in this life. Maybe tomorrow I won't be such a ditz, and will remember to take more pictures!

So tomorrow when you get up, say a short prayer for me and for Betty. I don't know why she feels insecure, or resentful, or if she's as hydrophobic as a cat, but she is, and so it will be an interesting day tomorrow!

Currently watching The Polar Express on TV. I've never seen it, and so far it's rather interesting. Reminds me of a 1940's musical, except that instead of Fred Astair or Danny Kaye doing a song and dance, it's cartoonish type characters.

OK, alarm set. and here I come Betty. You better rest well tonight, because the steamroller woman is coming tomorrow and you're going to be squeeky clean on the way to Peachtree City. You may have to breathe oxygen there and back, but you're going to be clean!

After posting to the blog I looked back at our T-giving pix and found this precious one of Jewel playing the piano yesterday. She found out at my house that she could reach the keyboard, and so at home she's taken to some impromptu concerts. Obviously she does all hers on tip toes though! Too cute!

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T19:58:00.002-05:00

Last year I was bald as it gets. It was an anxious Thanksgiving. Jenn was big-bellied with the little wiggle-wart at the table today, Jewel. I had cancer last year at Thanksgiving. This year, I have 10 months of hair and by the grace of the oncologist and surgeon I do not. I won't breathe easy for another 2 years or so, if then, but I'm here today, and profoundly thankful. This year I was able to take care of both children for the first time for a while. I don't have the umph to do that often, but for about 5 hours today, I had both of them. I couldn't hardly do anything with either of them last year. I'd just had my port put in, and a Sentinal Node Biopsy and I'd had a month of chemo and I was in the fight of my life. I have much to be thankful for, but most of all, it was being with my family this year to share food, and laugh and enjoy one another's company and mark the day as a special one with gratitude for another year on this side of the dirt.

Blessings to you and those you love. I hope your hearts were as full as aour bellies were tonight!

Down Under

2008-11-25T22:27:00.003-05:00

Well, during the busy summer of doc appointments, the one doc I missed was the girlie one. So while there's nothing to examine much on top anymore, I still have maintenance that has to be done down below. I met a new doc today and liked her. She's looking into a lot of other chemical issues with my system. Seems like a good thing.

Still a little stuffy, but on the whole, I'm healed from the dang rhinovirus that someone shared with me. Mucinex is still a big help though.

The cleaning diva came today, god bless her, and so my place is a much nicer place to be in.

The nurse at the doc's office used to work where I got my chemo, and she remembered me because of the newspaper article that came out telling about the raffle last year. The school raised $521 for Relay for Life by raffling off the chance to cut off my hair and the nurse remembered that. Hope she remembers that the focus of the article was "Get your mammogram on time."

I hope all my readers have had their mammogram or PSA testing done recently. Much of what we have learned about treating breast cancer came from the research done on prostate cancer. So, ladies or gentlemen, look at the calendar and make sure you're up-to-date on your annual exams.

Travel safely. Be well. I hope you and those you love are blessed with enough food and someone/something to cherish you this night. (My two kitties are all curled up into a yin/yang symbol of cat fur. It's cute to see them like that.

Mucinex

2008-11-23T20:05:00.002-05:00

Mucinex is the most awesome drug when you have a cold. I'm a tad better today. Look forward to being mostly better tomorrow.

Cold and Cold

2008-11-22T18:18:00.003-05:00

It's cold outside and I have a cold inside. NOT a happy girl right now. But it will be better soon.

Ups and Downs

2008-11-20T18:58:00.002-05:00

OK the up is that my phone was found this afternoon. The down is that I lost one of my favorite earings. Bummer! Another up thing is that tomorrow is the last day for me to see a teen for a week. Ahhhhhh. Bliss. I got the cards to send to my adopt a platoon fellow so that I can get kids to work on them tomorrow and get them in the mail. The JROTC kids are going to help as well.

I've been being creative at work by doing the web pages at school. I'm fumbling through it so, I'm not sure if I'm improving things or screwing stuff up. I like doing it though. The funny thing is that I can't seem to fix my own web page. Go figure.

Must sleep. Increasing sleep deficit.Tired. Glad to have my phone back, even though I don't use it much.

My Boobs

2008-11-19T21:44:00.003-05:00

The artist that is doing the mold of my boobs brought the "rough" mold to class tonight. It was very strange to look at my breasts from the perspective of seeing them across the table from me. I'd never seen them from that perspective. He says they'll be done by Christmas. It was very moving to see and touch their image again. He asked me what I was going to do with them when they were done? I'm actually moderately serious about putting them up as a bit of art on the wall of my livingroom. Is that too morbid? Just way over the top too weird? I've seen a torso as a bit of art in someone's livingroom. It's wasn't their torso, but it was very artistic and didn't seem out of place there. As long as it's an artistic looking thing....maybe it wouldn't be too bizarro?

This artist is giving me a great gift. I'm ever so appreciative.

Adopt a Platoon

2008-11-18T19:54:00.002-05:00

I have been given a contact and have promised 50 Christmas cards to go to my contact. I'm going to get some cards in the next day or two and then get kids in my classes make the cards up to send to troops overseas. He appears to be in South Baghdad. I think our troops need all the holiday cheer they can get. This is the first time I've adopted a platoon. I have adopted an individual soldier before but never signed up for so many soldiers. But it's just cards so I can do that. It's the least I can do for our defenders of freedom.

I may ask our JROTC at school if they want to participate as well. It might be a good opportunity for them to touch base with real soldiers.

Hope that you and those you love are safe, and warm this chilly night.

This Time a Year Ago

2008-11-16T21:16:00.003-05:00

Oh to be young and vigorous! I can't imagine trying this.

Bowden Junction

2008-11-15T18:51:00.008-05:00

There is a spot around here that is one stop light, a feed and seed store and the smallest post office in Georgia (I haven't seen one smaller, and I get around.) I'm telling you, if you and your dog walk into the Bowden Junction post office, one of you will have to step out in order to turn around. There is a weekend flea market just down the road a bit -- I'm sure their postal address is likely Bowden Junction....but it might be Carrollton. So, we're talking MIDDLE OF NO WHERE. I mean western NO WHERE!

I have Liam with me and we're returning from Carrollton where we've been at Jumpin' Joey's a place that wears kids out by letting them run like maniacs and play all over these air-filled room-sized slides and climbing plastic toys. He made me promise to take him to McDonald's for lunch and what are Grammy's for except for indulgences like this? Anyway, we're driving up highway 27 and there at the flea market are..........camels. Yes, you saw that correctly. Camels. One dromedary and two bactrian camels. (That's what happens with teachers, we know the damn names of the one hump versus two hump camels.) This required an immediate U-turn. We went back to the flea market (and I guarantee there were fleas there that day) and parked. We got the boy jacketed up, and holding grammy's hand. We walked toward a collection of animals in what they deemed a petting zoo. I wouldn't let Liam near them for love nor money. These were not extremely happy animals --- goats of all descriptions, including one laying happily in the water trough. White goats, billy goats, kids.....and three camels.

I don't know...maybe they're gearing up for appearances with the Three Wise Men next month. FAR western Georgia -- flea market -- camels. Sure. That's a natural. We stared like any sincerely dumb struck rednecks. I mean.....camels! They also had a pony ride and Liam got to take the shortest pony ride I'd ever seen. We'll have to see if I'm smart enough to load up the film of it. Or, if I was actually able to capture it like I thought I did.

I've been teasing Liam that I'm going to start calling

him "Booger." You can see why.

Camels above and pony ride below. Yes, I can do the video right sometimes.

9 month Oncology Check-up

2008-11-12T16:49:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been poked, proded, and had blood drawn. I still have "petite" red blood cells. The doc says that if I can ever get more iron in my system, and if the blood cells plump up, I might find my inner furnace again. I'm not optimistic.

He seemed to genuinely be happy with the amount of energy I'm able to scare up these days. I always thought that he felt I was weak and a bit of a wuss about chemo, but when I was leaving, he made a remark about how I wasn't a winer and that I was doing well considering all he'd done to me. It makes me feel a little less like a noodle to have some respect from this man.

I'm working hard to make myself useful at work. Missed a couple of steps though this week and got my name noticed as a bad girl at work. Not good.

My current inadequacies focus on my art class. Sometimes I surprise myself at what I can do, and other times I feel like a 3rd grader in graduate school. The challenge intrigues me though. I may not ever be able to do anything truly special in an artistic format, but I like trying. My art instructor has started work on the mold of my breasts. I'm excited. It will be nice to see them again. ;)

Time to lay my head on my pillow. Peace and love to you and those who love you.

11th Day on the 11th Hour

2008-11-10T21:02:00.008-05:00

Video about World War I. The video was specifically selected to get us in this day and age, into the time period and kind of war that was fought in The War to End All Wars. The day was originally envisioned as a way to celebrate the WWI Armistice (the one that finally held). It celebrated the end of the war, and honored the service of the veterans who survived. We have Memorial Day to honor those who did not survive the wars. The WWI Armistice was put into effect on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. The actual end of the war would not be signed until 1919, but hostilities finally ended at this historic time and day. It is tradition to stop for two minutes at 11am to honor those who served. It is still done in Europe. I can remember stopping as a young child in New York. In the 1950s it was still important to do. I can also remember buying paper poppies. The sale of the poppies was money raised to help support disabled veterans, widows and orphans of the war. The reason for the poppies was from a famous poem that commemorates the dead of World War I.

The first unknown soldier to be honored in Arlington Cemetery was from World War I. As of THIS article, it appears there is only one living WWI veteran left.

I can remember my Great Uncle Fred (Vatter -- my paternal grandmother's brother) who stood a really tall 5'3" and born in Germany, telling of his experiences in The Great War. He had to censor what he said with children around, I'm sure, but he was really frustrated by several things. He talked about the lack of sanitation in the trenches, and how the constant filth and rain made the trenches sewers that never drained away or dried out. Thus, the feet of the soldiers, his feet, never dried out. A disease called Trenchfoot resulted from this. All the years after the war, he couldn't stand for long periods because of the after effects of trenchfoot.

He also talked about the masses and masses of men that were effected by mustard gas. He was one of them. As the trench warfare made thousands and thousands of wounded who took precedent with the surgeons and doctors, the men effected by the mustard gas just stumbled around blind with no hope of medical attention. Uncle Freddy told how the men would put one hand on the shoulder of the soldier in front of him and then they would march blind from the gas, and no hope of recovery. Rumors and rumors of rumors ran through the ranks, of "cures" for the blindness caused by the mustard gas. In such terrible circumstances, who is to say what might be tried by anyone to cure themselves? He attributed his vision to the "cure" he heard about. He was told to urinate into his helmet and then wash his eyes with his urine. It worked, so it was better than doing nothing -- or perhaps even if he'd done nothing he still would have recovered his sight. He was always angry though, that there weren't enough doctors to be able to attend to the wounded. I also got the feeling that there was something mystical and reverential about his cure. I'd pray for my sight to return. I suspect he did too, though the family wasn't overtly religious.

I also remember him talking about the stink of the dead horses. The bodies of the horses would serve as food when they were fresh, but after days of rotting in the field, especially in the warm weather, their bodies became a plague of flies and odor. No MRE's back then. And, it wouldn't be until WW II and Patton that the Army acknowledged the importance of warm meals for the troops. I think it's important for those of us who have any memories of our relatives' stories from the past, to pass them along for this generation. Perhaps you have a story about a relative of yours from The War to End all Wars.

No matter what, however, thank a veteran tomorrow. It can't be said enough.

In Flanders Fields

By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)

Canadian Army

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.